Final Fantasy III: Quest of The Light Warriors
by SonicZ16
Summary: Join Black Mage, Nero, Alf, And Gale as they go on a Sad, Funny, And Adventurous quest as the new Light Warriors!    NOTE: This Fanfic Relates to the NES/DS version. Except, the characters are NOT, Luneth, Arc, Refia, And Ingus. As seen above.
1. The Adventure Begins

Author's Note: This is my first Fanfic, so don't blame me if it's bad... But anyway, This is a re-telling of the Story of Final Fantasy III. But with some twists. (The NES one, not SNES's remake of Final Fantasy VI.)

Disclaimer: (That's what this is right?) I do NOT own Final Fantasy in any way, and belongs to Square Enix.

Final Fantasy III: The Quest of Light

A Black Mage, with his friend, Monk, were exploring Altar Cave. When suddenly...

Both: AAAAAAHHHH!

Monk: Aw, man! We fell down a pit! Will we even get back up safely?

Black Mage: (Spots incoming monsters) The monsters say... No.

Monk: Monsters? Where?

Black Mage: Behind you! Be on your guard!

Monk: (Heroic Tone)Oh, sneak attack huh? Mage, Prepare yourself for battle!

The battle between the enemies and the heroes began... Monk started things off by charging at the enemies and just one punch was all it took for the Goblin to run away. Just one was left! The other goblin took a shot at trying to stab Monk with his Dagger, But Black Mage shot a quick Ice spell and he fell to the ground. The Heroes win! After the battle they continued walking and spotted two other warriors also battling, but these enemies looked tougher! Black Mage and Monk walk closer and take a look. It was a Fighter and a Red Mage! They looked like they were in trouble! Black Mage and Monk defeated the weakened enemies and tried to help the wounded Fighter and Red Mage.

Monk: You guys okay?

Fighter: Yes... but, can you help us out?

Monk: Sure! What do ya' need?

Black Mage: Just look at them! Can't you see they're hurt?

Red Mage: No, It's okay... We just need a little energy to keep going.

Monk: Come with us! We'll find a way to help you! And we can defeat enemies faster!

Fighter and Red Mage: Thank you.

The two teams of two joined to make four. In search of way to heal their wounds, And to get out of the cave. As they were exploring the cave, Monk had a question in mind...

Monk: I forgot to ask, What are your names anyway?

Fighter: Oh, well my name is Alf!

Red Mage: And my name is Gale!

Monk: And mine's Nero!

Alf: (Points at Black Mage) What's his name?

Nero: Uh... No one really knows...

Gale: He doesn't have a name? Or he doesn't want to tell anybody?

Nero: ... I-I don't know...

Alf and Gale make a confused face and they move on. Alf and Gale wondering what Black Mage's name is. Battling enemies, finding treasures, growing stronger... No matter what they were doing, They couldn't stop thinking about it. This made Nero curious to. They all stare at Black Mage with that, "Come on, Tell us!" Face.

Black Mage: What?

They continue to stare.

Black Mage: My name?

They nod slowly.

Black Mage: Ugh... (Looks around) Um... LOOK! A SHINY ROCK! (Runs away)

Gale: He'll tell us soon... I know he will...

The ground shakes.

Alf: What happened?

Nero: Look over there! A secret passage opened!

Gale: NO! We have to get the treasure first!

Alf: Where is this, "Treasure" anyway?

Gale: (Points south)

There were 2 treasure chests sitting, RIGHT THERE, RIGHT in front of them.

Nero: How did I not catch that?

The chests contained 2 Potions.

Nero: Hey! With these you can heal your wounds from earlier!

Alf and Gale drink the potions.

Alf: Ah, MUCH better. Wait, Black Mage has been gone a while.

Gale: When did he run off anyway?

Alf: When he said, "Um... LOOK! A SHINY ROCK!" and then he ran off.

Black Mage comes back.

Nero: You came back! We were just talking about you.

Black Mage: You know that, "Shiny Rock" I saw?

Alf, Gale, and Nero nod.

Black Mage: Well, I touched it, and that secret passage opened.

Nero: Now this is getting exciting! Let's go!

The Heroes continued through the cave.

Alf: Look! More treasure!

Everyone except Black Mage runs to get them. After a little while they come back.

Black Mage: So what'd you get?

Nero: I found a Potion...

Gale: I also found a Potion...

Alf: What is this?

Everyone turns to look at Alf.

All: It's... It's a... Hmm...

The Heroes were stumped trying to find out what Alf got in the treasure.

Gale: Eh... We'll find out later.

The Heroes continue walking through the cave, Everyone thinking about what Alf found. After exploring They come across a lake/pond thingy.

Nero: What's this Spring?

Alf: I don't know, but let's try drinking it!

For some reason, they all drink from the mysterious spring that they have just found.

Shortly after, they found out that it's a magic spring that heals your wounds, Alf and Gale, now angry because they wasted potions, found another potion just north of the spring. But Gale is still angry because they used two. Our heroes continue exploring

the cave while Nero is complaining about the cave being endless, But they found a beautiful looking room filled with crystals!

All except Black Mage: Woooooooooooowwww...

Gale: Look, A crystal!

Black Mage: I'll get it.

Black Mage walks to the crystal, but this evil looking fog surrounded him and the party as well. The fog took the shape of a turtle and looked angry at the four. The giant turtle attacked Black Mage, Then Alf tried to slice the turtle with his sword, But he quickly retreated into his shell. Nero thought of a plan: I'll get behind him and grab his tail. Then he will come out by surprise, Then Alf and Gale quickly attack. Black Mage thought to himself, "What about me?" as he watched the plan in action. The plan was a success! But the monster wasn't finished yet! He quickly bit Nero in the arm, And he had to stay back for a bit. Black Mage was going to use a potion on Nero, But the turtle quickly head butted him across the room before he had a chance to use it. Alf and Gale Teamed up to do a big slash, but the attack seemed to do nothing. After they finished their attack The turtle slapped Gale with his tail. Alf was the only one left. As things looked bad for the Heroes, Alf remembered: The mysterious item from the treasure chest. Alf held it up into the air as high as he could, and, what seemed like magic, the turtle was frozen in a block of ice. The Heroes have survived! After the close call battle, Alf heals the others with the potions they had found earlier.

Nero: Woah, How'd you do that!

Alf: (Panting) I... Don't... Know...

Gale: Now let's get that crystal!

Black Mage touched the crystal. A voice speaks from the crystal...

Crystal: You have been chosen... As the Light Warriors...

Alf: Light Warriors?

Crystal: Take the last of the light... The hope... Inside me...

Nero: Light? Hope?

Crystal: Everything in this world is out of balance... The world needs you... Save the world... Light Warriors!

The room lights up as the Heroes felt even stronger that they were before.

Black Mage: (Noticing an exit behind the crystal) Hey, Let's use that warp to get out.

Nero: Yes! We're finally getting out of this cave!

So how was that? Needs to be longer? Needs to be written differently... Anything! Just tell me in a review! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	2. Preperations, and The Curse of Jinn

Author's Note: In this (or MY) version of this story, the characters live in different places. In the original Final Fantasy III... They all lived in one town. Just wanted to let you know, Now enjoy the chapter!

Nero: Yes! We're finally getting out of this cave!

They all step on the warp behind the crystal. They were taken outside the cave. Gale wanted to go back in because there were treasure chests still left in the cave. Everyone didn't want to go in because it felt like to much work. But Alf said that they were fine the whole time they were in there. So it was a, "What could go wrong?" Kind of situation. After some arguing, they went back in to get the treasure.

Black Mage: There, happy now?

Gale: (Nods with a smile on his face)

Nero: Aww, We have to get out AGAIN?

Black Mage: Just blame this guy, right here. (Points at Gale)

Gale: Well... This treasure could help us you know!

Black Mage does a face palm as they leave the cave... AGAIN!

Nero: There's my hometown down there. It's name is Ur.

Alf: You live there?

Nero: Yep. Let's rest up there.

The Light Warriors Go into the town of Ur. No one in town believed that a bunch of kids were the Light Warriors. But they ignored them and proceeded into the magic shop.

Alf: Why are we here?

Black Mage makes a, "Isn't it obvious?" Face at Alf.

Alf: Well, Sooooooorrrry!

Gale: So, what do you got here?

Shopkeeper: Just this Pure spell.

Gale: What does it do?

Shopkeeper: Buy it and find out.

Black Mage: Fine! Here!

Black Mage tries out the new spell.

Black Mage: What? It doesn't do anything! YOU! You ripped us off!

Gale: Wait! Let me try.

Gale tries out the new spell. A light appeared in the room. But nothing else happened. Black Mage, still angry at the shopkeeper, because all it did was make a light.

Alf: Maybe that light does something. We'll find out later.

Black Mage: You'll pay for this later...

They left the shop and went to the weapon and armor shop. The Light Warriors were amazed at how much weapons they had, they purchased all the weapons they needed and then went to armor shopping.

Nero: (Looking around) What to get... What to get...

Alf: Two leather Robes, and a Copper Ring please!

Shopkeeper: Here ya' go!

Nero: Same for us!

Shopkeeper: Sure! 134 Gil!

Nero: (Searching his pockets) Hmm... Aww, I don't have enough money! What about you Black Mage?

Black Mage: Nope, I'm out to.

Alf: (Putting 134 Gil on the counter) Will this pay for it?

Shopkeeper: Yes. Here you are!

Nero: Wow! Thanks!

Gale: No problem! We had a lot of money left.

Nero: Well then, The inn's next!

Guess what? They went to the inn. Guess what? They fell asleep and recovered all their HP and MP. And then they left.

Black Mage: You didn't have to say it like that...

Alf: Who are you talking to?

Black Mage: ...No one...

Alf: Ooooookay...

Gale: Anyway, I just got word that there is a cave north-west of here.

Black Mage: But we need the Airship to get in there!

Nero: Huh? Airship?

Black Mage: ...Nevermind... Anyway, we need to get stronger before going in that cave.

Alf: Why?

Black Mage: Because the monsters in there are strong.

Gale: How do you know?

Black Mage: ...

And so, they went to train... For what seemed like hours...

Nero: We done yet?

Black Mage: Wait, I'll check. (Goes to check the, "Status" screen.)

Alf: What's a Status screen?

Black Mage: Only Sixty-five EXP to go!

Gale: EXP?

Black Mage: ...

They were now level 5. They were ready to explore the cave. BUT! They needed this, so called Airship to get there! So then they searched the area for a place they could get one. They stumbled upon a small village called, "Kazus". But everyone looked like ghosts!

Black Mage: They ARE ghosts!

Alf: NOW who are you talking to?

Black Mage: ...Nobody...

...But anyway... The people said this evil curse turned them into ghosts. The curse was caused by someone named Jinn. The Light Warriors checked all the shops. All of them Empty! But one man in the inn named Cid, who owns an Airship, lent it to the Light Warriors! But, Cid wanted the Light Warriors to take him to The town of Canaan... Where his mother lived. AFTER he changed back to normal. So the Light Warriors went into the Cave of the Seal.

Gale: AFTER... We go to the castle!

Black Mage: Why do we have to go to the castle?

Gale: 'Cause there might be treasure in there!

Black Mage falls to the ground, anime style.

NOW they went to the Cave of the Seal.

Nero: Cool looking cave!

Gale: We're not here to look around! We're here to... To... Why are we here again?

Alf: I don't know, but all caves MUST be conquered!

Nero: So true...

They looked through the cave Gale found a treasure, which contained the same odd thing that Alf found from last chapter. They decided to call it South Wind. And another Treasure with a magic spell book...

Black Mage: It says, "Cure" on it. What does that mean? Whatever. I'm Trying it. Ha!

The room stayed silent as only blowing wind can be heard.

Gale: Gimmie that.

Gale tried the spell, and soon everyone felt a little better.

Alf: So it heals?

Gale: Seems like it.

Black Mage: ...

They continued walking through the cave. Nero got bored and tried to annoy Black Mage into telling him his name.

Nero Stares at Black Mage.

Black Mage: What now?

Alf and Gale stare also.

Black Mage: My name? AGAIN?

They all nod.

Black Mage: Umm... LOOK! A SHINY SKELETON! (Runs away)

Nero: Whoa. Deja vu.

The ground shakes, revealing ANOTHER secret passage.

Alf: Yes, indeed.

Black Mage comes back.

Black Mage: You know the drill right?

They all nod.

Black Mage: Then Let's g-

Gale: LOOK! A TREASURE!

The treasure contains another spell book.

Black Mage: "Fire" huh? I'm not even gonna try this time...

Gale: Yes! It's mine!

Gale learned Fire.

Black Mage: Let's move on...

A Princess was pacing the floor, looking like she was thinking, or trying to decide something.

Nero: What's up?

Princess: Oh, hello there Warriors. Have you heard about Kazus's curse?

Alf: Yes. Only one of them seems to be not affected.

Princess: I have this ring that can seal Jinn inside. If I can do that, the curse will be lifted.

Gale: Can we help?

Princess: Of course you can! My name is Sara. Daughter of King Sasoon.

Alf: I'm Alf!

Gale: And I'm Gale!

Nero: Nero here!

Sara: (Points at Black Mage) What's his name?

Nero: No one knows...

Sara: you mean li-

Black Mage: DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! JUST LEAD US TO JINN!

And with that, Sara dragged all of them, (Don't ask how.) to where Jinn lurks. Gale was trying to break free because he saw tons of treasure, But they had to defeat (and seal) Jinn before he could get them.

Jinn: Hm! What do you want?

Nero: We're here to kick your butt!

Jinn: Is that so? We'll see about that.

Jinn and the Light Warriors charged at each other. Ready to do battle!


	3. Canaan and Dragons

Jinn and the Light Warriors charged at each other, ready to do battle!

Black Mage used the, "South Wind" on Jinn, it looked like it was effective! Then Alf, Gale, and Nero Attacked all at once. Causing some decent damage! Things looked good for the Light Warriors! Jinn hit Nero pretty hard, so then Gale used Cure to help Nero. The battle was similar to a tennis match, Jinn kept hitting, as Gale kept Curing. Then, Jinn used a giant flame wave to attack all the Light Warriors! They were all hurt badly. Gale tried Curing one more time...

Nothing happens.

Gale: What's going on?

Black Mage: You ran out of MP.

Gale: MP?

Black Mage: ...

Alf: We won't lose... So easily!

After Alf made that statement, Alf delivered a finishing blow! The Light Warriors did it! Sara quickly sealed Jinn into her ring, and warped the Light Warriors to the castle.

Gale: B-But... The treasure!

Sara: Thank you Light Warriors! Jinn is defeated, and sealed into this ring.

Nero: So Kazus will go back to normal?

Sara: Yes. Now I will throw this ring into the spring and seal this room forever.

Sara did exactly that.

Gale: No! There was a treasure in the water!

Alf: You REALLY love those treasures to much.

Gale: Black Mage! Use your fourth-wall-breaking powers! Find a way back in there!

Black Mage: For a treasure? No!

They talked to the king, and the king gave the Light Warriors a Canoe! They left the castle, retrieved their Airship, and went back to Kazus. Cid ran up to the Light Warriors, and asked them to take him to Canaan. But the Light Warriors said they couldn't get over the huge boulder. It blocks the way to the rest of the continent.

Black Mage: You! Behind the screen! Check a map of the floating continent! You can see the boulder!

Alf: Come on. (Drags Black Mage to a blacksmith's house)

Nero: We need our Airship to get past the boulder!

Blacksmith: Sure. I'll even do it free of charge!

(Hammer smacking and wrench turning can be heard.)

Blacksmith: Now off you go!

The Light Warriors and Cid were excited to be finally getting over the boulder! Black Mage tried to hover over it...

BOOOOOOOMMM...

Black Mage: WHY IS EVERYONE RIPPING US OFF?

Alf: Calm down. The town is right there!

Nero: It still sucks, knowing that he put a bomb in our Airship.

Gale: Luckily, we weren't killed.

The Light Warriors proceeded into the town of Canaan. This is where Alf and Gale lived. Anyway, Cid was happy to see his mother again, but... She was sick! Cid needed the Light Warrior's help! Luckily, one of Gale's treasures, had an elixir in it. It worked! She was up and ready!

Cid: Now I've been helped by you twice. Oh! I know! You can have all the treasure in my storage! Just push this button.

Gale's eyes light up as he zooms into the room. He was gone in less than three seconds! After a ridiculously short time, Gale comes back with tons of things in his hands. They left the village. Alf looked at the top of a mountain, a short distance away from where they were.

Nero: What're ya' lookin' at, Alf?

Alf still stood there. Saying nothing. Looking at the top of the mountain. Seconds later Alf yells, "Aaaaaaaand... Dragon!" and the second Alf said that, a Dragon landed on top of the mountain!

Gale: How did you know a Dragon would land here?

Alf: It always lands here, at this time, everyday.

Gale: How come I never knew about this?

Alf: Because you were always busy researching treasure, or something.

Gale makes a frown at himself while the others climb the mountain. After some exploring and treasure finding, the team comes across another spell book.

Black Mage: I call dibs on, "Aero"!

Black Mage tries the spell, nothing happens. He gives the spell to Gale. Gale tries the spell. It created a gust of wind that blew away some incoming birds that were going to attack. Black Mage is now angry because all the spells he tried didn't work. But they made it to the top of the mountain! Alf is excited that he was going to see a Dragon up close! Except...

Alf: Where is it?

Nero: Maybe he left?

Black Mage: OF COURSE HE LEFT! WHAT ELSE COULD HE HAVE DONE!

Nero: (Pats Black Mage on the back) Calm down, your just angry because your spells don't work.

The Dragon comes back.

Alf: Ooh! Here it comes!

Gale: Alf... He looks angry...!

Nero: Run! Hide!

The Light Warriors were running around like, crazy. But Black Mage found out that they weren't alone...

Black Mage: (Looking at a rustling piece of the nest) Come out! I know some one's in there!

?: Shh! Quiet! Come over here!

Black Mage: O-okay...

They both hide from the Dragon as everyone else also found a hiding spot. The Dagon was here! Their hiding spots were useless as he attacks the Light Warriors!

Alf: Noooo! I can't fight a Dragon! Dragons are cool!

Gale: We'll be eaten for sure!... Or worse...

Nero: We gotta get him, before he gets us!


	4. A Close Call!

Author's Note: This chapter will make references to luigi400000's Fanfic: FF3: Quest of the Dragon. If you must know why, Alf and Gale are luigi400000's characters. The team is about to fight a Dragon. But in luigi400000's Fanfic, Alf and Gale befriend a Dragon. Nuff' said.

Nero: We gotta get it before it gets us!

Alf: But Dragon... We were your friends!

Gale: So why must you show anger at us?

Alf: Is it because of them? (points at Nero and Black Mage)

The Dragon did not answer. Instead, he blew fire at the whole nest! For some reason, the nest did not catch on fire, and no one was hurt all that bad.

Alf: ...Something's wrong...

Gale: What is it, Alf?

Alf: That's not him... He just copied our Dragon's powers and used them...

Gale: So it LOOKED strong, but it was weak because it was his strength?

Alf: Exactly.

Gale: Plus, I know our Dragon won't try to hurt us.

Black Mage: When are you gonna be finished realizing that that's not your Dragon?

Nero did a quick hit at the Dragon when his guard was down. The Dragon was mad and tried to hit Nero back. But it was a trick to get the others wide open! The Dragon quickly smacked Gale with his tail. Gale slides to the edge of the 200,000 foot mountain!

Alf: Gale! Hold on! I'll get you!

Alf quickly slid to the edge and tried to grab Gale. But he was to late...

Alf: GALE!

The ledge Gale was grabbing on to cracked and fell off as Gale fell with it. This seemed like the end for Gale.

Alf: Gale... We were supposed to finish rebuilding the Town together! ...Now it seems like we'll never get it done...

Alf was almost at the point of tears as Gale almost hit the bottom of a 200,000 foot mountain. But then...

Black Mage: WARP!

Gale was at least a half of a centimeter away from certain death. But Gale was at the top of the Mountain, safe and sound! The two brothers hugged and all the Light Warriors went full force on the Dragon!

The Dragon was unaffected.

Black Mage: WHAT ARE WE DOING WRONG?

?: The Dragon can't be harmed! You need a special type of spell to lower it's defenses!

Nero: Odds are, we don't have it.

?: The only way is to... JUMP!

Black Mage: How would that work? He (points at Gale) almost died!

?: But that was falling. We're jumping.

Nero: Couldn't Black Mage just use that warp thingy again?

Black Mage: That's a level six spell! We're only level ten!

?: Levels?

Black Mage: ...

?: Anyway... Come on hurry! We gotta jump before the Dragon attacks again!

Black Mage: Aren't we gonna die?  
Nero: We won't die! We're the Light Warriors!

The mysterious man grabs Black Mage and jumps. Alf, Gale, and Nero soon follow. As they fell and fell, They landed in some trees in a forest. So the fall wasn't fatal.

Nero: See what I mean?

Desh: Whew... Now that that's over with... My name is Desh!

Alf and Nero: I'm Alf, He's Gale, And I'm Nero!

Desh: (Points at Black Mage) What's his name?

Nero: I don't know, I'll ask.

Black Mage: My Name? FOR THE THIRD TIME?

Everyone including Desh nods.

Black Mage: Umm... LOOK! SHINY WATER! (Falls out of the tree he was in and runs)

Desh: Does that happen a lot?

Nero: Yep! It's fun!

Desh: Well... When he comes back I want to give him this. (Pulls out, "Mini" Spell book)

Gale: Just give it to me. It'll save like, three minuets.

Gale learns Mini.

Black Mage: The shiny water heals!

Everyone else jumps out of their tree and also drink the shiny water.

Gale: Ok! Ready to go!

Alf: Except... Where are we going?

Desh: There is a village of miniature people south of this forest.

Black Mage: And I thought I was the only one who could break the fourth wall...

Nero: What?

Black Mage: ...Nothing...

Nero: But if it's a mini village wont we crush it with just our thumbs? How do we get in?

Gale decided to try out mini on Nero.

Nero: Oh.

Gale makes everyone mini and they head for Tozas, The Village of the Miniature people. But a pack of wolves say otherwise...

Nero: Ha! We can take you!... Wait... We look like gingerbread cookies don't we?

Everyone: Yep.

Nero: HURRY TO THE VILLAGE!

Desh: We cant go to the village! they'll crush it without even knowing they did!

Black Mage: WARP!

The Wolves simply disappear.

Nero: I thought you said you couldn't do it again!

Black Mage: The shiny water healed us. So I could use it again. (Resisting the urge to say MP)

They proceeded to Tozas.

Alf: Woah! It looks like a normal Town!

They all went to all the shops and bought everything they needed. They bought an antidote for unknown reasons. After, they reached the final house in the village.

Boy: Help... Sick... Need... Antidote...

Alf: Let's use that random antidote towards the unknown!

Boy: Thank you for helping me! There's a secret passage in here. Just push this button.

Gale: Will there be Treasure?

(Monster growls and roaring can be heard.)

Alf: It's either no, or the monsters are guarding them.

If you thought this chapter was bad, rushed, or anything of the sort, I don't blame you. I didn't feel like typing, and I'm Sick! But hey. I updated this anyway.


	5. Shipless Vikings

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating this in awhile! I got carried away by playing Faria, (NES) and FF's 2,3,4, and 5. AND! Tomorrow is my Birthday! (November 15) Oh! And by the way... For those of you who play the DS Version of this game. The characters in this fanfic are nothing related to them. And they look like the classes from the NES Version. If you need a refresher... Alf is a Fighter, Gale is a Red Mage, and Nero is a Monk/Black Belt. And now... Chapter 5!

Alf: It's either no, or the Monsters are guarding them.

The Light Warriors entered the secret passage that opened last chapter. Just like Gale said, there was treasure! Gale opens them at warp speed. After, they proceeded into the dark cave...

Gale: I wonder where this path leads.

Nero: Sitting here won't help us find out! Let's go!

They explore further in the cave... Only to find out they were going to be attacked by Monsters! Black Mage uses his Magic to defeat them quickly. Our Mini heroes moved forward... To the exit?

Gale: We've hit the end...

Alf: Why was the path so clear?

Nero: Awww! We're at the end? I didn't even kill that many monsters!

Black Mage: Wait...

Everyone: ?

Black Mage: How are we supposed to get back to normal? Won't the spell make us even tinier?

Gale: I don't know, Let's try it.

Gale tried the Mini spell again. Surprisingly, the spell did not make them tinier. Instead, It grew them!

Nero: Wow! How does a mini spell make us bigger? Do it again! I want to be giant!

The spell made him Mini again. So Gale Turned him back.

Nero: Aww...

Alf: Look! A Cave! Over there!

They went into the cave, There were many Vikings in there. But...

Black Mage: Why is everyone panicking?

Nero: Because they saw you!

Black Mage made the angriest face ever, then he found out he was kidding.

Alf: Well, SOMEONE has anger problems.

Black Mage: ...

Viking: HEEEEEY! New guys! Have you heard about the Monster blocking off the way to the open sea?

Black Mage: Is that why you're freaking out?

Viking: Well... Yes... I mean, What if you were sailing and a giant sea monster just eats your ship and eats any one who tries to get a ship past it. Wouldn't you freak out to?

Black Mage: Well, I guess...

Viking: Well, just giving out the news. AAAAaaaahh...

Nero: ...Did he just start screaming and run away?

Alf: Yep.

Gale: WOW, these people are weird.

Black Mage: You're one to talk.

Gale: ...Well it's not my fault...

Black Mage: Whatever... Anyway let's...-

Gale was holding 3 spell books in just the blink of an eye.

Nero: Really?

Gale: Yep. But more importantly...

Black Mage: NO! NO MORE SPELL BOOKS FOR YOU!

Gale: (Sniff)

Black Mage took all three books from Gale and tried to learn them. It was actually a success this time!

Black Mage: YES! I WILL TOTALLY RULE THE WORLD! HAHAHAHA!

Nero: Calm down, it's just three spells.

Gale: ... My Fire 2...

Alf: What WERE those spells anyway?

The spells were Ice 2, Bolt 2, And Fire 2.

Black Mage: Why, thank you narrator.

The Team pressed onward and Nero thought of something as they were wandering the place.

Nero: Where's Desh?

Alf: Oh Yeah! Where IS he?

Black Mage: Meh. He's probably not important to the storyline anyway...

Everyone but Black Mage: Storyline?

Black Mage: ...

Desh: Umm... I'm right behind you...?

Gale: So we totally ignored him this whole time?

Black Mage: Yep.

The Team of fo... er... Five... Went to the inn of the place. They went to sleep and recovered their HP and MP. (Except for Desh)

Desh makes a frown.

Gale: Hey, I just got word that there is a Shrine north of here, and rumor is that something in the shrine is causing the Sea monster to do what it is now.

Nero: What are we standing around here for? Let's Go!

They arrived at the shrine. There was a statue of the Sea monster, which turned out to be a Sea DRAGON. This place looked like it was an ordinary shrine. But...

Alf: There's a hole in his eye!

Desh: We have to be Mini to get in there!

Black Mage and Nero: NOOOOOO!

Desh: WAIT! Don't turn us Mini yet.

Gale: Why not?

Desh: When we are mini, we cant use our weapons and armor!

Black Mage: Yeah, So? We went through the other cave just fine.

Desh: But something tells me this place is swarming with monsters.

Nero: If there's monsters in there, they must be tiny monsters! (Starts shoving his nunchucks into the hole)

Desh: Everyone, Put this on.

It was a Black Mage outfit.

Black Mage: Where did you get that?

Desh: ...Somewhere...

Everyone Puts on the Black Mage outfit Except for Gale.

Desh: Why aren't you putting it on?

Gale: Because I can already use Magic.

Alf and Nero are blasting Fireballs everywhere in the background. After, Nero starts shooting Bolts into the hole.

Gale Makes everyone Mini, and proceeded into the dragons eye.

Alf: Wow, this place is FRIED!

Nero: Heheh.

Black Mage: Try not to use your magic like no tomorrow! We have Spell points you know.

Alf and Nero: Spell Points?

Black Mage: ...

Gale: Wait... How can you totally change your abilities just by changing your clothes?

Black Mage: (Mysterious tone) It's all in the outfit young one...

They moved yet again onward as they discover some... Open chests?

Alf IMMEDIENTLY looks at Gale.

Gale: (Muffled voice) What?

Nero: Incoming Enemies!


	6. Giant Sized Problems

Author's Note: I know my battles are short, and I have no Idea why. At first, It's this super-mega-awesome-epic battle In my head... Then when It comes out, It turns into a little 5 line paragraph. I'll try my best to not screw this one up! If I do, I'm sorry. Oh, and also, for DS Version players: The names of the characters (Ex. Desch, Doga) Are the original Japanese names in this fanfic. And SOME Town names. (Ex. Desh, Dorga) And now... Chapter 6!... With 5% more Gale-Treasure-ness, 20% more Desh ignoring! and a 50% longer Chapter!

Nero: Incoming enemies!

The team of Black Mages and a Red Mage took on the monsters.

Desh: Don't forget me!

...And Desh.

Nero: Foolish Sahagins. You know we're just gonna' Bolt 2 you.

Gale: I don't think that's necessary, considering you pretty much EXPLODED the place.

Nero: Heheh...

Gale and Nero:(Turns to the fight)

Nero: Woah! They're gone! How'd you do that? Alf?

Alf: Nope.

Gale: Black Mage?

Black Mage: ... Did anyone see that fast moving silhouette?

Gale: Hm?

Desh: Did anyone see ME?

Everyone: (Ignores Desh and keeps looking)

Alf: Well... I seen a Thief named Phil... Does that help?

Black Mage: Um... No...

Alf: Well he could've done it!

Nero: Done what, again?

Gale: Kill those enemies at blinding speed.

Nero: Oh yeah! I remember!

Black Mage: Wait... How did you know his name was Phil?

Alf: Well... He killed those Sahagins and then I started talking with him.

Black Mage: When did that happen?

Alf: When everyone started some random conversation after Nero stated he was gonna Bolt 2 the monsters.

Black Mage: You mean like, 20 lines ago?

Everyone: Lines? Ago?

Black Mage: ...

Alf: He said, "If you need a group of Thieves, just call me and my Bros.!"

Gale: Do you know THEIR names?

Alf: Let's see... There was, Phil, Bob, I think Fred... And some other guy with a ridiculous name.

Nero: Ga- WOAH you grab treasures fast!

Gale: (Gives a sword and armor to Alf)

Black Mage: How do you CARRY that anyway?

Nero: Yeah! Like the time with the Airship dude's Treasure Storage!

Gale: Um... LOOK! A TRANSPARENT WALL! (Runs away)

Black Mage: Do I do that a lot?

Everyone: Yep.

Gale Comes back and the team notices a strange hole. For obvious, yet, unknown reasons, they go inside and find...

Gale: TREASURE!

...That, and a Giant Rat that's guarding some sort of a crystal!

Nero: Give us your Belongings!

Alf: Wait I'll ask for help. PHIL! BOB! FRED!...Hm... OTHER GUY!

No answer.

Alf: I thought he said they'd help us...

Nero: Um... Most Thieves are liars, Dude.

Alf: ...

Gale was Randomly throwing books (Yes, Books) at the rat.

Black Mage Kept trying to use Warp and Fire 3.

Nero Kept trying to use his nunchucks as a Black Mage.

Alf Was Trying to get over the fact that the thief, Phil, Lied to him about helping them.

The Rat broke the silence and Charged at the mini-sized Gale.

Alf: No way! Not this time!

Alf Jumps in front of Gale and Alf goes flying towards the wall, Gale Tried to Cure him before he hit the wall but... He was to late...

Mini Author's Note: Don't you HATE IT when you try to use Cure on someone about to die, and then they die, you cast it, And all you get for using up your spell points is a big, fat, "INNEFFECTIVE"

Black Mage: ... Use this and save the sad drama... (Hands Gale a Phoenix Down)

Gale uses the Phoenix Down on Alf and Cures him back to health.

Desh: Let's see if any one will notice me now...

Desh Casts Bolt 3 on the Rat. But Black Mage casted Bolt 2 at the same time, so Black Mage Thought he got some sort of Critical Hit.

Desh: DARN IT! Time for Plan B...

Desh preformed, "Plan B" By taking out a sharp blade, and slashing the rat all over. All the Rat did was twitch, so the team thought he was being all, useless-like.

The Rat was annoyed at taking all these hits and barely even fighting back, so it ran all over the place almost crushing anything it came across. Everyone tried to stop it in it's tracks by shooting Fireballs at it. and Desh, using Bolt 3 to get noticed.

Desh: It's not working though...

...The Rat didn't budge. Instead It Kept Charging and charging. Making everybody go flying towards the hard, stone walls... Where they seemed to be cornered...

Alf: Agh! This thing seems impossible to beat! Wait... Why ARE we fighting this thing anyway?

Gale: (Gasp) How could you forget about the poor little treasure over there?

Black Mage: So we're fighting a dangerous, life-threatening battle just for a treasure?

Gale: ...Yes...

The Rat approaches. It's getting closer and closer. He has a, "Which one should I eat first?" Expression on his face. His Sharp teeth grew closer and closer...

The Rat faints.

Everyone: Huh? What?

Alf: Why did he just faint?

Black Mage: 1 of 2 possibilities. 1: the author was to lazy to write this battle. or 2: Because of all the hits we got off him. Or both.

Black Mage: ... I'll save you the trouble... Author? Write this battle?

Nero: You're good at that.

Black Mage: ... Where's Gale Anyway?

Desh: He ran outside a while ago.

Nero: Why, thank you random civilian.

Desh: Why me?

Alf: Where did he run off to?

Black Mage: Didn't you read 3 paragraphs ago? He got the treasure and probably stormed out of here.

Nero: Speaking of storms...

Black Mage: NO! DO-

Nero blasted Bolts everywhere again. the place was near black when he ran out of MP.

Black Mage: Nt... Well, let's leave before someone comes and gets mad before WARP!

They all appeared near the entrance where Gale was waiting, and Alf and Nero became a Fighter and a Monk again. The gem Gale picked up started glowing...

Alf: What's happening?

Nepto Statue: Well done warriors... You've brought back my crystal eye.

Gale: Eek! (Drops, "Crystal eye")

Nepto Statue: Without this I am merely... A statue... And the monster in the sea will calm down to.

Nero: Whatever that means... Let's go tell everybody we killed the Nepto and get free rewards!

Gale: Isn't that taking advantage of what the people didn't see?

Nero: THEY don't have to know that...

Gale: ...

SPOILER WARINING START

Desh: (Talks quietly) ...Just wait untill you find out I'm the one who keeps this continent floating...

SPOILER WARNING END

Nero: You say something, random civilian?

Desh: ...

The team heads back to the Vikings cove and Nero tells everyone they killed the Nepto and they got total respect. And Cheering... And carrying...

Black Mage: Did I just hear, I'll name my children after you?

Alf: Well I heard, you can have the ship outside.

Gale: So, how are you enjoying being carried away by some people Nero?

Gale Turns to Nero, Who fell asleep on top of the crowd.

Gale:(How can he fall asleep during cheering like this?)

After some time... And a day at the Inn...

Gale: Wow, that was some praise!

Alf: FAKE Praise.

Nero: ...

Desh: And where was I in all that?

Everyone looks at Desh for about three seconds and continues their conversation.

Desh: Now that we have a Ship, Maybe we can go to Gysahl?

Black Mage: Now that we have a Ship, Maybe we should go to Gysahl...

Everyone except Desh: Great Idea!

Desh: ...

Alf and Black Mage: Gysahl...

Gale: What about it, Alf?

Alf: That's where my Chocobo, Feather ran away... Because some other mean Chocobo that looked like... A Black Mage...

Black Mage: That's where my Chocobo learned Magic Spells!

Mini Author's Note: The, "Black Mage Chocobo" Looks like the Black Mage Chocobo from FF Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon.

Black Mage: Hm... We'll find out soon enough.

The group sailed to the South-Eastern Island of Gysahl. This is the Home of Many Chocobos.

Alf: I'm... going to look for Feather... Tell me when you're leaving...

Alf ran to the nearby forest. Black Mage left to the Chocobo Farm.

Gale: Where do you suppose they went off to?

Nero was gone.

Gale: I'm so lonely...

Desh: I feel your pain...

...Let's check on Alf, Shall we?

Alf: (Running and Panting) ...Feather! Where are you? I'm sure that meanie won't bug you again!

The Bushes rustle...

Alf: !

And now let's see what Black Mage is doing...

Black Mage: Where is he? (Looks around Chocobo farm)

A Chocobo Dressed like a Black Mage tackles him, and starts happy-chirping like crazy.

Black Mage: Oh, THERE you are, Kuro!

Mini Author's Note: That means, "Black" in Japanese.

After some Chocobo reuniting, (Yes, Alf found his Chocobo!) they take them back to the entrance.

Nero: So, about this whole, "Mean Chocobo" business.

Gale: Yes, Let's hear a story of what happened.

Alf: Okay... Let's see... I was really little when I met Feather, He liked the Gysahl Greens I had with me. But I had to go back to my home in Canaan, So I'd visit him with Gale every so often. But after some time... I saw him with the Black Mage Chocobo. He was doing stuff like Burning trees when he was in them, and then Froze them when someone was looking. And When he went swimming, he'd send small bolts through the water and run. He got tired of it and ran away... And the Black Mage Chocobo burned the grass at the entrance, that spelt a name... I've never seen Feather again... Until this day, 12 years later...

Gale: That must've been hard on you, Alf...

Nero: ...And about your Magic learning Chocobo, Black Mage.

Black Mage: I was using my Black Magic spells, Until Kuro walked up to me and he wanted to try and learn it to. So I tried to teach him... And after a couple days, he got the hang of it and stated showing off to the other Chocobos... Especially this one named...

Gale: WAIT! Not yet! Black Mage. Alf. I want you two to say the Names of the Chocobos you mentioned in each of your stories.

Alf and Black Mage: Why?

Gale: Just do it! Okay. Three... Two... One...

Alf: Kuro.

Black Mage: Feather.

Alf And Black Mage Looked at each other with a surprised look on their faces...


	7. Desh's Destiny

Author's Note: the first part of this Chapter will NOT relate to the main story. Cuz' it's CHOCOBO TIME!... Well I haven't put on a disclaimer in a while so...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy III in any way. I only own Nero, Black Mage, the 4 thieves, and Kuro. luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, and Feather. No stealing, K? ONE MORE THING! The Chocobos... Feather looks like the normal Chocobo from FF Fables: Chocobo Tales/Dungeon. Kuro looks like the Black Mage Chocobo from Chocobo's Dungeon. Get it? Got it? Good.

Alf and Black Mage looked at each other with a surprised look on their faces...

Alf: It... Was YOU!

Black Mage: Well it's not my fault he just decided to bother your Chocobo.

Gale: Calm down, you two.

Alf: CALM DOWN? How would you like it if your best friend ran away, and the cause is standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?

Gale: ...

Alf: (Looks at Black Mage) Well he's back now... But I'll keep my eye on you!

Black Mage: Well... What now?

Nero: Hmm...

Everyone: What?

Nero: What WAS that last thief's name, Alf? You know, Phil, Bob, and Fred.

Alf: Oh, them? Well... This is gonna sound awkward...

Gale: What do you mean?

Alf: Well, his name... It's really awkward, like I said-...

Black Mage: LAST CHAPTER!

Everyone: There's , "Chapters" again. What is he talking about?

Black Mage: ...

Nero: Hmm...

Black Mage: What now?

Nero: ...What's YOUR name?

Black Mage: Um... KURO HE'S ON TO US LET'S RUUuuuuunnnn!

Alf: How many times has he done that now?

Desh: 5.

Nero: Oh yeah!... WAIT! (Turns to Desh) how do you know?

Gale: Yeah! you didn't see like, three of those!

Desh: (Runs and jumps happily in circles)

Alf: Um... Any reason for the happy jumping?

Desh: YES! FINALY I WAS TALKED TO! YYYYEEEEESSSS!

Everyone was gone.

Desh: I'm so lonely...

Elsewhere...

(Black Mage runs in)

Gale: Oh THERE you are.

Nero: Now, the thief's name...

Alf: Ugh... No!

Gale: NO! WE MUST KNOW NOW!

Black Mage: Tackle him!

Alf: NO! WAIT! Jeez, all this for a name...

Black Mage: Well, your just lucky we don't do this every time we go over MY name.

Alf: Well it's...

Everyone's eyes light up and everyone slowly gets closer to Alf.

Alf: 1337.

Everyone Falls over, anime style.

Black Mage: Are you kidding?

Gale: What does that even MEAN?

Nero is bursting out laughing on the floor.

Alf: I told you...

Feather and Kuro: (Confused Chirps)

Onward with the Story plot!

Alf: Where do we take our ship now?

Feather and Kuro: (pointing in some random direction while jumping and chirping)

Alf: Heheh, Okay.

They set sail in the direction the Chocobos have pointed. It led to a Huge tower!

Alf: Wow... Good job you two!

Feather and Kuro: (Happy chirping)

Nero: Where's Gale?

Desh: He ran off to the cave west of he-

Black Mage: He went to the cave west of here!

Everyone except Desh: Good job, Black Mage!

They all went into the Cave... Where they found the treasure happy Gale.

Alf: You just cant help yourself, can you?

Feather: (Tugging on Alf's arm and pointing to a staircase)

Alf: Wow, you sure are finding stuff out today.

They go down the stairs... To find a... Circle of sages?

Sage: Desh! There you are!

Desh: Where am I again?

Sage: You don't remember? Well, the time has come for you to accept your destiny.

Desh: On the top of the Tower of Owen, Right?

Sage: Yes. Take this with you. (Pulls out, "Toad" spell book)

Black Mage and Gale: MINE! (Run up to the Sage) Where is it? (Looks behind them)

Feather and Kuro: (Playing Catch with the Toad spell book)

The book starts to glow.

Alf: What's happening?

Feather: (Accidentally drops the book)

The book released a beam of light, Which aimed at Gale.

Gale: What? NOOoooo! (Croak)

Nero: Woah! He's a Frog! Awesome!

Black Mage: Will the spell change him back?

Sage: Most likely.

Alf: Feather, Do that again!

Feather: (Shakes his head up and down and drops the book again.)

BAM!

Everyone: ...

Gale: Let me try...

Gale Tries the spell.

Gale: What? NO! I can't use it!

Black Mage: HAHAHA! IT"S MINE!

Black Mage Tries the spell.

Black Mage: (Growls) Wait... How can Gale Talk? He's a Frog!

Gale: Well I can, so there.

After a while, Gale turns to normal, and the Team sets off for the Tower of Owen.

Feather and Kuro: (Scared chirping while hiding behind Alf and Black Mage's legs.)

Alf: You can wait outside if you'd like.

Feather and Kuro: (Sit down next to the tower's entrance. Looking like plush toys.)

Nero: Onwards and Inwards!

Gale: Onwards to TREASURE! (Runs inside)

They explored the first floor of the tower. There were a lot of frogs and a hole.

Black Mage: This hole is TINY!

Gale: Frog Powers, ON!

Everyone turns into frogs and leap into the hole, then Gale turns his power off.

Voice: Welcome to the Tower of Owen... And your DOOM! (Evil laughter)

Nero: Wha...?

SPOILER WARNING START

Desh: (Talks quietly) Well at least I'll be leaving soon...

SPOILER WARNING END

The team climbed and climbed. The Tower wasn't all that big.

Black Mage: It was only 8 Floors, or something!

Alf: Hey, there's someone over there!

Desh: She's gonna sink the continent into the sea!

Black Mage: Well, stop her then!

Desh: You!

Black Mage: Fine. ICE 2!

Ice 2 hit the mysterious figure... So she turns around...

Medusa: I am Medusa! And you puny little shiny warriors aren't gonna stand in my way of sinking this tiny island into the SEA! Take THIS!


	8. A Moment of Silence

Author's Note: Ugh... ANOTHER BATTLE. I HATE TYPING THEM!... AND I'M TIRED. I THINK I MIGHT TAKE A NAP AFTER THIS. I DON'T KNOW. Aaaaaannnd here comes thhhheeeeee...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final fantasy III, or it's Plot. I only own Black Mage's Personality, Nero, and Kuro. luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, and Feather. No stealing, K?

Medusa: You Puny Shiny Warriors cannot defeat me! I'll plunge this continent into the SEA!

Everyone else: (Gasp!) How DARE you!

Some stupid conversations later...

Alf and Gale: Take THIS! (Slashes her at the same time)

Desh: And THIS! (Uses Bolt 3)

Nero: And how about some of THIS? (Smacks her with his nunchucks)

Medusa: Let's see if you can handle THIS! (Smacks all of them with various snakes from her head)

...

Everyone looks at Black Mage.

Black Mage: What?

Everyone else: Well, you gotta' do one to!

Black Mage: Fine. Let's see you survive THIS! (Uses Bio)

Medusa: Urrgh... Where'd you get that spell from?

Black Mage: What, this? (Uses it again)

Medusa: ARGH! Yes! That one!

Black Mage: (Puts his hands behind his back and waits awhile) Well, FIND OUT! (Uses it again)

Medusa: Grrr...

After some tricking Medusa in to Black Mage using Bio later...

Medusa: THAT'S IT! You're getting SILENCED!

Alf: You should of done that a while ago, you know.

Gale: Don't give it ideas!

Black Mage: It'd be nice if you could... PAY ATTENTION TO THE FIGHT!

Alf and Gale: Oh, Okay. AAAAAAHHH! (Slashes Medusa)

Black Mage's Silence wears off.

Black Mage: Ooh! I got another one!

Gale: Another what?

Black Mage: Another THIS!

Nero: Let's hear it.

Black Mage: (Dr. Eggman Impression) Get a load of THIS! (Uses Fire 3)

Insert some really epic explosions here.

Medusa: (Growls) No... I can't... Die here... Unless... I TAKE ALL OF YOU WITH ME!

Medusa grabs Desh and Black Mage.

Desh: Hey! I have a prophecy to fulfill you know!

Black Mage: Well, good luck with that. (Uses Warp to safety)

Desh: What?

Medusa: PROPHESIZE THIS! (Throws Desh inside a tube of flowing lava)

Desh uses his sword to jump away from the opening and stabs Medusa with the Stab of all stabs.

Medusa: This continent... Will have to sink... Sooner or later... (Falls to the ground)

Nero: Let's throw it inside the tube of lava!

Desh: NO DON'T!

Everyone else: Why not?

Desh: Because Then the continent WILL sink.

Nero: Aww...

Black Mage: Then what DO we do, Killjoy?

Desh: We... Hey!

Black Mage: (Looking some other direction, whistling)

Desh: (Makes a face then continues talking) There is a small Machine inside there that is about to explode.

Gale: What happens when it explodes?

Desh: Very... Bad... Things! So, I need to get in there and try to stop it.

Black Mage: Won't you die?

Desh: Maybe. Maybe not. (Walks over to the tube and turns to look at them) There is a small island to the North-East of here. Please, Restore the crystals and make this continent a cool place! (Turns to face the lava) ...Goodbye...

Desh Jumps inside. Now, A moment of silence for Desh.

Everyone: ...

Black Mage: Wait, what did he say before he jumped in?

Gale: I don't know.

Alf: How could you forget the last wishes of someone about to die?

Gale: Then do you know?

Alf: No...

Nero: I'm tired of standing here! Let's get out already!

They quickly leave the tower.

Feather and Kuro: (Runs over to Alf and Black Mage and start to hug their legs.)

Alf: So what's been going on?

Feather shows Alf a book he found.

Alf: What's this? "The Adamantoise and the Cactuar" ?

Nero: What's a Cactuar?

Alf notices Feather is wearing a Helmet that looks like a Dragon's head.

Alf: Woah, How'd you get that, Feather?

Feather: (Points to his head with a confused chirp, turning his head slightly)

Alf: Yeah, that!

Kuro: (Makes, "Don't tell him!" Actions at Feather)

Alf: (Walks slowly towards Kuro)

Kuro: (Kinda' freaking out trying to find out what to do. Then uses Sleep)

Alf falls backward, snoring.

Black Mage: (Pets Kuro and puts Alf on feather)

Nero: So where do we go now?

Black Mage: We go to some random island North-East of here!... And that was totally my idea.

Gale: Well, let's go!

Everyone gets on the ship, and they head towards this, "Random island North-East of here".

Nero: Look! There it is!

Gale: Look! A CAVE! (Starts to daydream about treasure)

Nero: Who's driving anyway?

Black Mage: (Not paying attention to where he's going, then looks in front of him.)

Everyone: AAAHHHHH! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!

Kuro: (Jumps in front of the ship and uses Slow)

Black Mage: (Opens his eyes) Whew... (Walks over to Kuro) Here. You deserve this. (Gives him Sleep 2)

Kuro: (Jumps around happily while Final Fantasy victory music plays in the background)

Everyone: (Looks in every direction)

Nero: Where is that coming from?

Alf: ...Huuuuhh?

Gale: Oh, you woke up. We were trying to find out where this music is coming from.

After some slight Fourth wall breaking later...

Nero: Well, Let's go inside!

Everyone is freaking out.

Black Mage: AGAIN? What is it THIS time?

Dwarf: It's the end of the world! Someone took the horn of Ice!

Alf, Nero, and Gale: Horn... Of... Ice...?

Dwarf: Please, Help us! you can take anything you need, just get it back!

Black Mage: Wait! Where IS this guy?

Dwarf: Well if we knew we'd have it back.

Nero: Nice question.

Black Mage: ...

They all got everything they needed from the shops and departed to... wherever they needed to go.

Dwarf: Welcome to the Basement!

Black Mage: A basement? To a CAVE?

Dwarf: Well there's a spring of water that has a hole that leads to some really huge dungeon that only a frog can get in.

Alf: How do you know?

Dwarf: I just know things. Like, You're about to fight some guy named Guzco.

Everyone backs away slowly from him and jumps inside this, "Toad only hole" and Return to normal.

Gale: Just imagine all the treasure you can find in here!


	9. A New Friend!

Author's Note: In this Chapter, Another Chocobo will appear. This Chocobo is Green, Has Lenna/Reina's Summoner Clothes, and likes Red Mage hats. Oh, And this Chocobo is owned by luigi400000. No stealing, K?

Gale: Just imagine all the treasure you can find in here! (Runs off)

Black Mage: What a help he is...

Alf: What are we doing in here anyway?

Black Mage: Some Dwarf that was freaking out forced us to get the Horn of Ice back for him.

Alf: Oh.

They chased after Gale in the Straight forward cave.

Nero: What was that guy's name again?

Alf: What guy?

Nero: You know, That guy that's been following us fo-

Black Mage: For like, 6 Chapters?

Alf: PLEASE! SOMEONE Tell me what Chapters means!

Black Mage: ... Well anyway... What WAS his name?

Some, "Not remembering Desh's name" later...

Nero: We've been going this way for HOURS! When are we gonna reach the end?

Gale: Well do you see any other path?

Nero: (Looks around) No...

Gale: Exactly.

Alf: Look! What's that?

Gale: Something.

Black Mage: Oh, Really now?

Nero: And, Look! The horn of Ice is right there! This WAS the right path after all!

A Shady Character leaps in front of the team. Blocking the Horn of Ice!

Guzco: I am Guzco. Who are you?

Alf: We're... Some people... Looking for the Horn of Ice.

Guzco: Well you're about to find another path. TO YOUR DOOM!

Black Mage: Wait...

Guzco: Hm?

Alf: That dwarf was RIGHT! We ARE gonna fight some guy named Guzco!

Black Mage: That, we are.

Guzco: Did you just indirectly tell me you're going to defeat me?

Black Mage: That, we did.

Gale: ...NOW!

Alf Stabs Guzco. The Sword entered through his back, and exited through his chest.

Guzco: Nrrgh... I... Will... Destroy you!... (Falls over)

Alf: That was easy!

Nero: NOOO!

Black Mage: What?

Nero: We have to go ALL THE WAY BACK OUT AGAIN?

Black Mage: That, we must do... Oh, wait. You're right. NOOOOOO!

They leave the cave rather quickly.

Dwarf: Huzzah! You're back! And you got the horn of ice too!

Black Mage: That, we-

Alf Gale and Nero: STOP ALREADY!

Black Mage: ...Fine.

Dwarf: Come to the Magic shop. I have something for you.

They went to the Magic shop to claim this, "Gift".

Dwarf: Take this. (Hands Black Mage a Spell Book)

Black Mage: GUESS WHAT, EVERYBODY? I CAN'T USE THIS!

Gale: That's odd... I cant use this either. What kind of spell is this anyway?

Dwarf: It's called a Summon. Would you like to see it in action?

Everyone else: Sure!

Dwarf: (Looks behind him) HEY! We have another summon for you to test!

A Green Chocobo with a Summoner's clothes slowly walks out from behind the counter with a small frown on his face.

Dwarf: Try out this spell for them, will ya?

BAM!

Chocobo: (Looks at his feet to find the Summon, Then uses it.)

Ifrit shows up.

Everyone except the Dwarf: AAAHH! Hurry! Put that thing away!

Chocobo: (Does so and calls back Ifrit.)

Dwarf: Well, how do you like it?

Gale: (Breathing heavy) That... Was... (Faints)

Dwarf: You don't like it?

Black Mage: NO! But we'll take it though. (Takes the Summon and Runs)

Dwarf: ?

Chocobo: (Tries to sneak away)

Dwarf: (Looks around) Great. Now I lost my Summon, AND My Summon tester!

Back to the main team...

Chocobo: (Runs up to Gale and starts cuddling his leg.)

Gale: Oh! It's you again. Do you want to come with us?

Chocobo: (Nods his head quickly and does to Gale, What some people call, "Glomp".)

Gale: Haha! Okay!... Huh? My hat's Gone!

Chocobo: (Puts the Hat on his head and starts to run around the room.)

Gale: (Watches his new Chocobo run around with his hat.)

An Hour or so later...

Nero And Black Mage: Zzz...

Alf: How long can he keep running? It's been almost an Hour!

Gale: Well, That's what Chocobo's do. They run.

Alf: ...What's his name anyway?

Gale: Oh yeah... Never thought about that... How about... Kin?

Alf: That's seems like a good name!

Kin: (Tackles Gale and starts to Happy Chirping)

Gale: Well he sure seems to like it!

?: ARGH! THAT"S IT! (Jumps out of a Shadow on the Ground)

Nero: Wha... AAH! It's!... It's... What was your name?

Guzco: I WAS planning to jump out of nowhere and steal the horns of ice AND fire... But you're taking FOREVER! I'll just do it now before I bore to death!

Dwarf: Wait! Stop! Don't!

Guzco: Oh, Okay.

Dwarf: Really?

Guzco: NO! (Laughs evily and takes the horns and runs)

Dwarf: (Makes a frown)

Nero: Where'd he go?

Black Mage: Well if we knew, we'd go get him.

Nero: AAH! I thought you were still sleeping! Don't do that to me!

Dwarf: Help! we-

Black Mage: Oooookaaay... We'll find him again...

Dwarf: Th-

Gale: Don't mention it!

Dwarf: (Speaks to himself quietly) Jeez, Do you know everything I'm gonna-

Nero: Yes.

Dwarf: (Backs away slowly and runs)

Alf: Well, Let's get a- lookin'!


	10. What's THIS Now?

Alf: Well Let's get a' Looking!

Just outside...

Voice: MUAHAAHAHAAA!

Black Mage: (Sarcasm) Well who could THAT be?

Following the obvious sounding laughter...

Black Mage: A LAVA CAVE? REALLY?

Gale: Well better go now then never...

Black Mage: Sez you Mister, "I Just abandon everybody for Treasure we don't need."

Gale: What's that? Internet Talk?

Alf: Gale not you too!

Gale: What?

Alf: What's Internet?

Nero: Run away! He caught 4th wallbreakeritus!

Alf and Nero: (Runs away) AAAAAAAaaaahhhh!

Gale: Well, if they're doing it... (Runs away) TREASUUUUUuuuurrrrrre!

Black Mage: Useless. Every one of 'em. (Uses Warp)

After waiting and Running... And Running... And Waiting...

Alf and Nero: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! How'd you get here so fast?

Gale: (Muffled Voice) TRMHHHHSHRRRRRRE! What? How?

Black Mage: Have you NOT noticed yet? I. CAN. WARP.

Alf: No you can't!

Black Mage: Yes I can.

Alf: No you can't!

Black Mage: Yes I can.

Nero: No you can't!

Black Mage: When did you get into this?

Nero: I'm just bored.

Voice: Don't start this again...

Gale: And just what would that be?

Guzco: (Slowly walks out from the shadows) Boring me to death again... Quite a smart trick you got there.

Nero: Ah! It's!... It's... Mr. What'syourname! Um... Hmm...

Guzco: Well... Um... Take THIS! (Summons some Giant Dragon)

Black Mage: Not THIS Again!

Alf and Nero: Just go with it.

Guzco: Now all I have to do is run away with the Horns while you deal with THIS!

Gale: Well... How DO we deal with THIS?

Black Mage: Simple. you use THIS! (Uses Ice 3)

Gale: Ah.

INNEFECTIVE

Black Mage: WHAT?

Gale: Try it again.

Black Mage: M'Kay.

Insert Dragon Pain roaring here.

Black Mage: Hmm... Why didn't THIS (Uses it again) Work before?

Gale: Maybe because he saw THIS (Uses it) Coming.

Black Mage: And just why did he not see THIS (uses it) Coming?

Alf: SERPENT SWORD!

Nero: That was sure random.

Alf: I don't know, I just got this random urge to yell Serpent Sword.

Nero: Ah.

Black Mage: Well then it'll just have to deal with THIS (Uses it) won't it?

Gale: Yes, It will have to deal with THIS! (Uses it)

Dragon: (Frozen in a block of Ice)

Black Mage: THIS!

Gale: THIS!

Black Mage: THIS!

10 minuets later...

Gale: THIS!

Black Mage: THIS!

Alf and Nero: ZZzzz...

?: (Growls Loudly) How long can you keep this up? I'm SO BORED!

Gale: (Sarcasm) *Gasp* who could that be?

Black Mage: Bored? Well that doesn't mean you have to watch it. (Uses Blind)

Guzco: Gah! (Accidentally drops the horns) Oh no! I accidentally dropped the horns!

Black Mage: That, you-

Gale: (Death Glare)

Black Mage: Sorry!

Alf and Nero wake up.

Nero: Uhhmmm... Why does he look like he's about to die of seizure?

Black Mage: (Looking nervous and talking fast) Idontknowheylookthecrystalbye! (Runs)

Everyone joins him.

Voice: Good work Light warriors, as this is the Fire Crystal.

Nero: Does that mean we can change our clothes and do completely different things?

Voice: Uhm... Something like that.

Nero: Woo hoo! *oFTo b* (That's a smiley face with a Thumbs up if you look at it close and long enough.)

Voice: Anyway... Here are some new abilities. Restore the Crystals to Grace!

Duh, duh duh duh, duuh duuuuh Duuuuuuuuuh! (FF Fanfare thingy FTW)

Alf: Me a Knight! Whee! (Runs everywhere swinging his sword in every direction)

Gale: (Watches Alf) What else did we get? (Turns back to the way he was facing)

Nero: Hehe!

Black Mage: W-why do you have that face?

Gale: He's Gonna mess with the script... More specific your name.

Black Mage: WHAT?

Pop!

Thief: SERIOUSLY?

Pop!

Scholar: Stop!

Pop!

Hunter: Oh, THAT'S IT!

Pop!

Knight: Let me borrow that. (Takes Gale's Sword and Chases Nero)

Gale: Aww... No Upgrades... Well, stay a Red Mage it is!

Some Awkwardness later...

Alf: We're Baaa-aack!

Dwarf: Huzzah, good people! You got them back!

Black Mage: That, we-

Everyone else, even the Dwarf: (Death Glare)

Black Mage: Hmph. (Crosses arms)

Intercom: News Report! The town of Tokkle was just abducted by a Floating Castle! More info soon!

Dwarf: Please don't ask why we have technology like that in the year 600.

Black Mage: Well I have nothing to say now.

Alf: How'd you get that to work anyway?

Dwarf: Simple; The Dwarf downstairs. He Just knows things, like, You're about to go to that town and get abducted by the castle too.

Gale: O RLY?

Black Mage: Ooh! More Internet speak!

Alf: Why Gale, Why?

Dwarf: You know about the internet too?

Black Mage: Such useful technology we have in the year 600!

Gale: That stuff wasn't even invented yet!

Intercom: Yes it has.

Dwarf: Explain tha-

Black Mage: OOKAY! We're leaving now!

Everyone jumps onto the ship.

Black Mage: Kuro, get us out of here!

Kuro: (does the, "Yes sir!" Thing with his hand)

The boat quickly sails to the middle of nowhere.

Alf: Where are we?

Black Mage: Welcome to the middle of the ocean, population; US!

Gale: Where do we go now?

Black Mage: Well I don't know since the crystal did NOT give us directions!

Gale: To where, Exactly?

Black Mage: EXACTLY!

Alf: Want to know what I want to know?

Nero: I guess I want to know what you want to know.

Alf: What will happen if the boat got Hasted and slowed at the same time?

Nero: What WILL happen if the boat got Hasted and slowed at the same time?

Alf: EXACTLY!

Nero: Hey, can you cast Haste on the Boat when I say 3?

Black Mage: Sure.

Alf: Get ready to cast slow on the boat when I say 3!

Kuro: (Nods)

Nero: 1...

Alf: 2...

Alf and Nero: 3!

Black Mage: HASTE!

Kuro: WARK!

And they were never seen again... Nah, Just kidding, of course they're ok. Or are they?

Dun dun... DUUNNNNNN!


	11. They Cheated?

Author's Note: Don't worry, I'm not dead. I was just moving, and never got the time to say so. So… Yeah.

Are they Okay, Are they not? Who knows? Heck, I wouldn't.

Gale: Hey, We're safe!

Chocobos: (Uncover their eyes)

Alf: But where, ARE we?

Black Mage: Like the author said, Heck, I wouldn't know.

Everyone else: (Ignores Black Mage)

Black Mage: Hm, Ignoring the 4th wall, now are you?

Nero: Speaking of, "Where are we", What happened?

Alf: Dangit! That was the whole main Idea!

Nero: Oh, Whoops! it was!

Black Mage and Gale: You mean YOU DID THIS?

Nero: Look, Alf just wanted to know what happened if the boat was Hasted and Slowed at the same time, So I was like, "Oh, okay" and...

Black Mage: Oh, I thought you were asking to Haste the boat cuz it was taking to long. So I agreed... Kuro however, he'll agree to anything.

Nero: Why don't I have a Chocobo?

Everyone else: Random Much?

Gale: Town in sight, Treasure, WE GO! (Runs off)

Black Mage: Runs off? That means we landed!

Alf: How did you know that?

Black Mage: I can read what's in parenthesis.

Alf: Parenthesis? Where?

Black Mage: Ugh... Nevermind, Let's just get off. I'm tired of boats for the moment.

Voice: Then Howz' about FLYIN' CASTLES?

A strange green light appeared over them. And with a Blink, They were inside a Castle's Dungeon Cell. Oh, and Gale was there too.

Black Mage: He is?

Gale: Hello.

Alf: How do we get out?

Guard: Here'z some HAMMERS! Smash yourself and go into the tiny hole of mystery!

Black Mage: Has he gone insane from being here too long?

King: No, He's just Crazy.

Gale: Did this guy capture the whole kingdom?

King: ...

Other Guard: (Whispers) He doesn't like to talk about it...

Light Warriors: Ah.

Guard: Into magik holez AWAY! (Passes out)

Black Mage: Yup, he's Crazy.

They all turn mini and go into the, "Magic hole".

Nero: The guy that captured us SUCKS!

Soldier: I work for him! DIE!

Alf: Harsh?

Black Mage: Clear the way.

Gale: Okay... (they all step away)

Black Mage: METEOR!

Everyone else: METEOR?

Black Mage: METEOR!

Everyone else: METEOR?

5 minutes later...

Black Mage: METEOR!

The spell finally activates...

King: What... did you, DO?

Gale: Did you NOT hear the conversation that lasted 5 minutes?

King: About the Meteor?

Light Warriors: Yup.

Voice: Darn it, You RUINED IT! You were supposed to go through a WHOLE dungeon while mini, and then get Crushed by monsters! But NO... You cheated!

Black Mage: I cheated?

Voice: Dude, Fist of all, Black Mages don't even GET level 8 Magic Points!

Black Mage: Heeeey, now that you mention it, I don't!

Everyone takes a step away from Black Mage.

Voice: Well, I'm waiting...

They all navigate through the now burned to ash dungeon to this mysterious voice.

Alf: Where are our Chocobos?

Nero: Yeah, where did they go?

Gale: They're Probably outside.

Black Mage: ...Simple, I come from this village called...

Alf Gale and Nero: (Listen closer)

Black Mage: ...I know you're there.

Alf Gale and Nero all fall over, Anime Style. (You know, when they hit the floor in an instant face first?)

Hyne: Well, I am Hyne. And I have a constantly changing weakness! So I fear NOTHING!... Except for Scholars... (Shivers) Brr...

Black Mage: Constantly changing weakness, eh? NOW!

A hole randomly appeared in the roof where Kuro, Feather, and Kin use Fire 2, An Ice Spear, and a Ramuh summon, respectively.

Gale: He's hurt by Fire!...

Black Mage: Shall we?

Gale: Let's.

Black Mage: Hmm... Fire hurts it... does he mean THIS? (Uses Fire 2)

Gale: I think he does mean THIS! (Uses it)

Nero: Not THIS again!

Alf: Black Mage rubbin' off on ya'?

Nero: Maybe.

Hyne: ...You cheat. (Disappears)

Black Mage and Gale: All done!

Voice: Oh, I thank you Light Warriors! He was getting on my nerves. Now the people can have their castle back, and I... Nevermind...

Black Mage: What is this, Exactly?

Tree: Well, thanks to you, blowing a giant hole inside me...

Black Mage: Heheh. (Throws Meteor spell book up and down)

Tree: I now have to sit in a forest for like, a thousand years, accompanied by fairies constantly going, Hey! Listen!

Nero: Oooh, Ouch.

Tree: Well whatever. I'll carry you back to Tokkle.

After some elevator-like movements...

Tree: Well, Here I go...

Light Warriors: Good Luck!... Hope your ears survive.

Old Guy: You saved us!

Boy: Yay!

Nero: Cool, whatta' we get?

Old Guy: ...Nothing!

Black Mage: We did THAT, and we get NOTHING?

Boy: Well, you cheated.

Black Mage: You little...

King: Stop! I'll take you to Argas Castle! Just don't hurt him!

Black Mage: And why not?

King: Because... Because... Just... Come!

At Argas Castle...

King: Here have this.

Gale: A Gear?

King: Not just ANY Gear! A TIME Gear!

Black Mage: And the difference is...?

Guard: ...Nothing!

Nero: Didn't that Old guy say that?

King: Like I said, it's not just any gear. Take it to Cid. He'll know what to do with it. Probably... Make it a... Airship... Or something.

Alf: We ARE in need of an Airship...

Back at Canaan...

Cid: What brings you youngsters back here?

Gale: We got a Gear.

Alf: Probably you can... Make it a... Airship... Or something.

Cid: Okay!

Black Mage: (Woah, that worked?)

Cid: I'm back! Press A to turn your Boat to an Airship!

Black Mage: Ah.

Alf Gale and Nero: Wha?

Cid: Maybe you can... Test it out, Maybe?

Gale: Good Plan.

About 7 seconds later...

Nero: So? Press A!

Black Mage: Alright, Alright.

Gale: Well... We got an Airship... Now what?

Nero: We can Fly of this island and explore the awesome looking world out there!

Black Mage: At least it's something to do...

About 18 Seconds Later...

Alf: It's all water...

Black Mage: Hmm... This is a VERY awesome world we got here! (Sarcasm)

Nero: Oh yeah... Now that you mention it... It WAS all water beyond the place...

Gale: We're gonna get lost again, aren't we?

Alf: Gale, Is something up? You seem a little... Darker, I gotta say...

Black Mage: You mean Gale's Random change in personality this Chapter?

Alf: Yeah, that.

Black Mage: Simple. The author doesn't want to give me to many lines, so he gives some to Gale, because he's the closest to me.

Alf: I'm sorry, Repeat ALL of that.

Nero: Who's driving, anyway?

Light Warriors: AAAHHH!

Black Mage: Oh, It's Kuro.

Kuro: Wark!

Gale: Always lookin' out for us.

Black Mage: Agh, I'll drive... Wait, where the heck is ANYWHERE? It's all ocean!

Somewhere else on the Airship... Kin was holding up Feather, While Feather was Pointing a Spear at a nearby Shipwreck.

Black Mage: ...Why do I get the feeling that they're doing more than we are, and that they should be the Light Warriors, And not us?

Alf: But they're Chocobos!

Black Mage: So?

Gale: But... They only find places for us.

Alf: That sounded mean.

Gale: Did it? I knew I should of re-worded that.

Nero: Shipwreck Ho!

Black Mage: You know what we're gonna do, Right?

Feather: (Pulls out a Floaty and a Snorkel)

Alf: Haha! No, not swimming, He's talking about going inside the Ship!


	12. First Filler, Third Crystal!

Author's Note: Hopefully Gale gets his personality back this chapter... Because what Black Mage said in the previous chapter, was in fact true.

Black Mage: Uh huh.

Everyone else: Uhh... What?

Black Mage: Shipwreck HO! (Attempts to run)

Nero: Not so Fast!

Black Mage: (Darn it, I almost got away...)

Nero: ...You HAVE to have a name!

Black Mage: Ugh... Because I'm the 4th wall breaker, I'll say it for you... (Ahem)

In chapter 1, You said, "what's your name?" And then I ran off to the shiny rock. If I didn't have a name, I woulda' said so. Am I right?

Gale: 4th Wall breaking aside, Yes.

Nero: Know what? I'm in a mood for talking now.

Alf: About what?

Nero: Like... How did we become the classes we are?

Alf: Good question...

Everyone looks at Black Mage.

Black Mage: What, so I'm first?

They all nod.

Black Mage: Ugh, You people!... Fine.

Alf and Nero: Yay!

Black Mage: Well... I'm actually a Student Mage under the Archsage Dorga.

Gale: Really? I find that a little hard to believe.

Nero: Especially because you said you were gonna, "Totally rule the world" When you got Fire 2!

Black Mage: I would say, "That's different", But I can't.

Nero: Mm hmm.

Black Mage: And also, I come from Dorga's Village. That place is like, FULLA' Mages!

Gale: Wow, I never thought you'd tell us something like that!

Black Mage: No more info, K?

Nero: Okay. Wait, NO!

Alf: Guess I'll go. Well, When we were little, I always looked up to our Father. He was a Great Knight. So when I got older I wanted to be like him, And Became a Fighter.

Black Mage: Ah, The usual.

Alf: What?

Black Mage: Nothing.

Nero: Guess I'm up!... Okay, This may sound odd, but, I was originally intended to be a Thief.

Gale: Really, Now?

Nero: Yup. But since Ur has an aggression against Thievery, I Became A Monk instead.

Gale: You were gonna' be a Thief... Hmm, That'd be interesting...

Black Mage: Now that you commented on everyone's stories, how 'bout you tell us yours?

Gale: I'm not sure I remember...

Black Mage: Riiiiiiiight...

Nero: What does Pure do?

Black Mage: Oh, it heals Poison.

Gale and Nero: You coulda' said that earlier! Instead of almost killing the shop guy!

Black Mage: But THAT was before the Author decided to make me the 4th wall breaker.

Nero: Riiiiiiiiight...

Now for some Chocobo Talk! (Insert Happy sounding 8-bit Jingle here)

Kuro: (Where were WE in all that?)

Kin: (Just to the left of all the action, Why?)

Kuro: (Dude. How come WE didn't get to tell OUR stories?)

Kin: (Okay. For one; We're always the same class as our owners. Sometimes a second class as a bonus.)

Kuro: (Hey, Yeah! I never noticed that...)

Kin: (Also, Yours was already mentioned.)

Kuro: (Yeah, it was... WAIT! You weren't there when that happened!)

Kin: ((Whistling))

Feather: ((Playing with Pop-Up-Cards.))

Kuro: (Hey! Do those even EXIST in this game?)

Feather: (Mayyyybeee...(Slowly hides his face within his cards.))

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

Black Mage: Stealing my lines...

Alf: Good 'ol us!

Nero: Black Mage can use White Magic!

Black Mage: What?

Gale: Yes, explain Haste.

Black Mage: Ooooooohhhhhh, that. There's 2 types of Hastes. One White, One Black.

Mini Author's Note: There actually IS 2 types of Hastes. The Black one From FF1, The white one from FF3.

Alf: Who says you don't have the White one?

Black Mage: Let's just end the Filler and go inside the Shipwreck. Anyone Agree?

They didn't understand what he was saying, but they ended the filler by going inside the Shipwreck.

Kuro: (Great. Now we gotta' stay behind again...)

Gale: There's ALWAYS Treasure inside Shipwrecks!

Nero: If you think about it... Yeah!

Alf: Is anyone in here?

Black Mage: Only one way to find out.

Nero: Now your stealing my lines!

Black Mage: It feels good actually.

Old Guy: Please Help us!

Alf: What with?

Old Guy: It's Her! She passed out when our Ship went down!

Black Mage: What does she need, a Potion?

Gale Tries it.

Lady: Uhh... Where am I...?

Alf: In a Shipwreck!

Lady: Does that mean we crashed?

Old Guy: (Whistling)

Black Mage: (What ELSE could it mean?)

Lady: Wait... I'm remembering something... It's about the Crystal of Water...

Gale: We just so happen to be looking for some elemental crystals, ourselves.

Lady: ...I'm the maiden of Water... Only I can open the way to the Water Crystal... I am Elia!

Black Mage: Wait, Wait. Let's re-cap. We used a Potion. She Woke up. She has amnesia. It's cured in about 15 seconds... Am I right?

Alf: It's a Record!

Elia: Please, Let me go with you. I'll open the way to the Water Crystal for you... Light Warriors!

Nero: How'd you know?

Elia: Look at it this way. We hear prophecies about Four Warriors of Light, About 2 weeks later, Four Completely out of the ordinary dressed people come in and want the Crystal. Does that not sound like you're the Light Warriors?

Alf: It's another Record!

Black Mage: About What?

Gale: That was the Longest sentence in our whole quest so far!

Nero: 40 Words!

Elia: You counted my words? (Okay... Having second thoughts about them being Light Warriors... They're just Creepy...)

Alf: Another Record for the Books!

Black Mage: That was the most letters typed in parenthesis EVER so far!

Nero: 67 Letters!... I may have Missed by a little...

Elia: Uh... (Yep, they're creepy.)

Nero: Onwards!

After 19 Minutes of Searching for any piece of land they could find...

Alf: There's a piece of Land over there!

Nero: Why yes it is! CHARGE!

Elia: Oh, that's where the Cavern of Water is.

Nero: Really? CHARGE FASTER!

Guess what? I'm gonna' be lazy and type, "They arrived" so I don't have to type what's in between. So, They arrived.

Black Mage: Oh, The usual.

Alf: What?

Black Mage: Nothing.

Nero: Woah, Deja vu.

Black Mage: Okay, I'm wondering how long we can keep quoting Lines from Previous chapters until they don't make sense anymore.

Gale: We have a Gear.

Black Mage: Like that.

Gale: No, Seriously! We have a Gear! Cid never took it from us! He just randomly decided to make our boat an Airship!

Alf: Then what do you suppose we do with this, MYSTICAL Time Gear?

Elia: Put it away and go in, Perhaps?

Gale: Good Plan.

Nero: Aw, Man! This place is HUGE!

Black Mage: This place'll be one heckuva Temple!

End Note: Darn it. I didn't want the Chapter to end here. But I ended it anyway. Soooo... Yeah.


	13. CHAPTER 13 TO THE FACE!

Author's Note: I just noticed something when I posted last chapter. NEVER attempt to beat the game with this team. It'll be HARD.

Elia: So that's how it feels to be in a Time skip...

Gale: You never felt it before?

Nero: It's common 'round these parts!

Black Mage: So what, everyone COMPLETELY forgot that that cave did just about EVERYTHING to us?

Alf: Well it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, sure we got Paralyzed, Maybe died a couple times, Almost Burned, Froze, and got Shocked to death, And Gale ran out of Cure's, and Potions, and... Nevermind, It WAS that bad.

Black Mage: What did I Tell ya'?

Nero: Record Broken!

Black Mage: Huh?

Elia: (This better not be about the word counting again...)

Nero: Why, Yes it has quite everything to do about that Elia.

Elia: (I'm not even safe in my mind...)

Gale: Nope.

Nero: ANYWAY! Now THAT, was the most words in a sentence!

Gale: 38 Words!... Wait. The Record was 40 Words!

Nero: Really? Sorry People. False Alarm.

Black Mage: We've gone from Line stealing to Role Switching...

Elia: (They worry about the STUPIDEST Things!)

Nero: It's Not Stupid!

Elia: (I'm not even gonna bother.)

Voice: My Gosh, Now I know what that guy was talking about!... This is so BORING!

Alf: Who goes there?

Voice: Me. Boo.

Black Mage: Aah. You sure scared me.

Voice: Whatever... Umm... ARROW TO THE FACE!

He throws a Cursed Arrow in the Light Warriors direction. Of course them, not being exactly, "Scholar Smart" they all Dodged the arrow and it hit Elia.

Black Mage: Well that sounded mean.

Gale: Black Mage! Not the time! Elia's in danger!

Mini Author's Note: Yeah, He's a Druid.

Druid: Dude. It's a CURSED Arrow. It Insta-Kills whatever it touches. So she's probably gonna Die.

Elia: Somehow... I feel... Relived...

Black Mage: Does NO ONE Love us anymore?

Druid: Speaking of Bad News, DIE!

He summons the Giant Kraken. Yeah, The same Kraken. From FF1.

Black Mage: Didn't he learn his Lesson already?

Alf: We never even seen him before!

Black Mage: Whoops, Wrong game, nevermind. Well, as you said yourself, DIE!

Mini Author's Note: This is supposed to a Pokemon Battle... For people who don't get it.

You are challenged by KRAKEN!

BLACK MAGE used BOLT 3!

Black Mage: This isn't...! Dah, whatever...

It's not very effective...

Black Mage: What? He's Kraken. His weakness MUST be Bolt!

Kraken: Uhh... It's actually Ice... Oop! (Covers mouth)

BLACK MAGE used ICE 3!

But it failed!

Black Mage: And just WHY did that happen?

Kraken: Cuz it's my turn... You went twice...

KRAKEN used FIRE 2!

Black Mage: You confuse me. You're obviously a Water creature. Your weakness is Ice, and You know Fire 2. Get the Picture?

Kraken: Well, I AM a Fiend after all. I shouldn't have something like, Oh, An easily exploitable weakness?

Black Mage: Where's my Back-up anyway?

ALF, GALE, and NERO Took a snooze!

Black Mage: Great. Thanks guys. You help out Sooooo much.

BLACK MAGE used HASTE!

BLACK MAGE's SPEED sharply rose!

BLACK MAGE's ATTACK sharply rose!

KRAKEN used ICE 2!

Black Mage used the Hi Potion. BLACK MAGE's HP up 500 points.

GALE woke up!

Black Mage: Geez, Finally!

Gale: Well THIS is a unique style of battle.

Black Mage: Isn't it? Well...-

Kraken: ICE 2 TO THE FACE!

KRAKEN used ICE 2!

BLACK MAGE fainted!

Gale used the Phoenix Down. BLACK MAGE is revitalized.

Black Mage: Cheating cheap shot-er... I'll show him something in his face alright...

BLACK MAGE used BIO!

BIO turned into ICE 3!

BLACK MAGE used ICE 3!

It's super effective!

Mini Author's Note: That was a reference to the move, "Nature Power".

Kraken: Luck has to hate me for you to random Ice 3...

Black Mage: Yeah...

Gale used the SouthWind.

It's super effective!

Gale: How's That for easily exploitable weakness?

Kraken: Argh... At this rate I'll lose quickly! Gotta think of something...

ALF woke up!

Black Mage: Hooray!

Gale: Oh, we'll WIN this now!

Alf: Battling like this feels... different. It's like your totally used to something and WHAM! It changes right before your eyes!... Yeah, I'll cut to the chase.

ALF used ICE BLADE!

It's super effective!

Kraken: Your ALL SO mean! Right after I say I don't have an easily exploitable weakness, I get hit with Ice like, 3 times in a row!

Black Mage: Well that's your fault for accidentally stating that your weakness was Ice.

Kraken: Yeah... That was stupid wasn't it...

NERO woke up!

Nero: It's not Stupid! It's just the fact that you're not smart!

Kraken: Oh THAT helps...

Black Mage: Okay, I'm getting tired of us constantly saying quotes from previous Chapters...

Gale: We have a Gear.

Black Mage: Like that.

Nero: Well, throw it at him or something!

Nero used the Gear.

Kraken: That's it. Someone take my place. I'm done. I have better things to do. Besides, my HP was low anyway.

Alf: Then it's not a true victory!

Gale: When was our last true victory?

Nero: I think it was the Land Turtle in Altar Cave...

Black Mage: Some heroes we are.

Kraken: I'm out.

Black Mage: ICE 3 TO THE BACK OF THE FACE!

BLACK MAGE used ICE 3!

It's super effective!

KRAKEN fainted!

Light Warriors won the battle against KRAKEN!

Kraken: Cheating Cheap shot-ers...

ALF got 330 Exp.!

ALF gained a Job level!

GALE got 330 Exp.!

NERO got 330 Exp.!

NERO gained a Job level!

BLACK MAGE got 330 Exp.!

Light Warriors got 2500 Gil for winning!

Black Mage: Is it over...?

Nero: What?

Black Mage: The awkward battle system.

Gale: It should be.

Alf: It's an Earthquake! Run!

Black Mage: Sorry. I'll stop.

Nero: It's still going!

Black Mage: I was just helping it.

Gale: No time! Run!

Alf: We can't leave Elia!

Black Mage: What has she done other than complain how we're weird?

Alf: Hmm...

Black Mage: Exactly. WARP!

Nero: I forgot you had that!

Elia: Wait... Take these... Before you go...

They receive the Jobs of water from Elia!

Duh, Duh Duh Duh, Duuh Duuuuuuh Duuuuuuuuuuuh!

Mini Author's Note: FF Fanfare thingy FTW is BACK!

Black Mage: NOW WARP!

They traveled through Time and space... Just to go up like, 3 floors.

Nero: Whew... Now let's look at our new Jobs... (Walks over to Black Mage.)

Black Mage: Okay, Equipment's off...

Pop!

Dragoon: Hey.

Pop!

Viking: What's up.

Pop!

Dark Knight: How's it going.

Pop!

Conjurer: I can use staves.

Pop!

Bard: Now I cant.

Pop!

Karateka: Shouldn't we have run out of capacity by now?

Pop!

Black Mage: Yay.

Nero changes to a Karateka.

Nero: Sweet! an upgrade!

Gale: I'm starting to get weak... Maybe I should pick one of these... What do you all suggest I should be?

Alf: Dragoon!

Nero: Conjurer!

Black Mage: Dark Knight.

Gale: Dark Knight Sounds cool... Guess I'll try it.

Pop!

Gale: Hmm... I can still use White Magic... But my Black Magic's gone to waste now... But I feel, A lot stronger!

Nero: That's stupid! I mean, DARK Knight. And he can use WHITE Magic?

Alf: That DOES sound a little strange...

Black Mage: Shrine. Over there. Like, 5 steps away. But we're not going... Why?

Nero: (Pats Black Mage on the Back) You're just grumpy you don't have an upgrade.

Elsewhere...

Water Crystal: Why did that Wind Crystal pick THEM? Was he half asleep that day or something? Geez, They defeated EVERY boss so far with an excuse! Speking of excuses, THEY'RE Excuses.

Black Mage: Seriously. No one loves us anymore.


	14. The 2011 Light Warrior Games!

Author's Note: As you can tell from my New Profile image, The characters have Custom outfits!

Black Mage: I'm actually from Mysidia! (Not Really, Mysidia is a Town From FF2.)

Nero: I wear red and have a Headband!

Gale: My Armor is a different Blue!

Alf: I look the same but totally different!

And new Outfits comes new Disclaimers!... Not really.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy III, Or It's plot. I only Own Black Mage, Nero, Kuro, And the 4 Thieves. (Yes, they're gonna come back for this chapter.) luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, Feather, and Kin. No Stealing, K?

Water Crystal: They DO Worry about the Stupidest things!

Black Mage: Oh, I forgot. We're unloved. Even AFTER our outfit changes. Hey, Water Crystal. Just do whatever you have to do, and we'll be on our way...

Water Crystal: Well um... You, "Heroes" Must now journey to the Earth Crystal!... The last one.

Alf: We're almost done?

Water Crystal: Yeah. But you go there like, a LONG time later.

Black Mage: Not exactly anyone's idea of, "Almost done."

Water Crystal: Exactly.

Nero: So what happens now?

Water Crystal: You have to somehow go unconscious and wake up in the Town of Amur.

Alf: Oh, Okay!

They all fell to the floor instantly.

Everyone: ...

...

...

...

...

Alf: ...Is it Working?

Gale: Hmm, maybe if we close our eyes it'll work.

Nero: Let's Try it!

...

...

...

...

...

Black Mage: Where's that town.

Water Crystal: Do you have a map of any sort?

Black Mage: Yeah, here.

Water Crystal: Hmm... It's riiiight... He-

Black Mage: WARP!

Water Crystal: Cheaters...

Gale: Okay... This is a new town, and we got new jobs. Do we have our equipment ready?

Alf: I have mine...

Nero: I can re-use my other stuff...

Black Mage: And you totally jumped from job equipment.

Gale: Yeah...

Nero: Shop, Shop Away!

Black Mage: Which one First?

Gale: Armor!

Alf: Charge!

BAM!

Nero: Give us your belongings!

Black Mage: (Seriously, stop quoting lines!)

Shopkeeper: IF you got the Money.

Alf: In fact, we do!

Shopkeeper: Do you have any Thieves or Vikings With you? That's Pretty much all we got.

Black Mage: Viking... Ugh...

Nero: Something up?

Black Mage: It just reminded me of something from the past... Let's Hurry along now.

Gale: Weapons!

Alf: Charge!

BAM!

Shopkeeper: Let me guess, "Give us your Belongings!"

Nero: I was gonna say "Whatta ya' have?" But that works to.

Black Mage: 1000 Gil he has only equipment we can't use.

Nero: You're ON!

Shopkeeper: Any Vikings, Thieves, Dragoons, Hunters, or Bards? Anyone?

Nero: Here...

Gale: Well that sucks.

Alf: What?

Gale: I got no equipment!

Black Mage: Oh yeah, I forgot. This place doesn't give you any Dark Knight's Weapons OR Armor, until like, way later.

Voice: Did you say, Dark Knight's Weapons and Armor?

Nero: Why, yes we did!

4 Random looking Old guys show up.

Old Guy 1: We just so happen to have a Kiku, a Kotetsu, and all the Genji Armor!

Gale: Sweet!

Old Guy 2: ...BUT, Since we're nO0bZ, we're gonna throw it into the Cave of darkness for you to risk your lives finding!

Old Guy 3: wO0T!

Alf: If they can Internet speak... Gale! Can you still?

Gale: Hold on I'll try. Oh, Really?

Alf: Yay! Gale stopped internet speaking!

Old Guy 4: lE3t!

Gale: How many people does that make now?

Nero: About what?

Gale: People that know about the internet.

Black Mage: 4.

Old Guy 1: There's a House over there. Why don't you go in it?

Black Mage: Why, sure random strangers that just told me where a suspicious looking house is!

Jiru: Welcome to My house! Do you wan't the key to the sewers?

Black Mage: Uuuuhhhh...

Jiru: Okay! I was instructed to give this key to the Light warriors. You must be them!

Old Guy 1: WAIT! Don't you mean that would be us?

Voice: Nuh UH! That Key is OURS! After all we're Thieves!

Bob: Uhh, Phil, We're thieves.

Phil: Yeah, So?

Bob: Can't we just pick the Lock?

Fred: But that's a SPECIAL Key. Only given to Light warriors!

Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Kuro: (If WE were a group of 4 people we can just jump in and call ourselves Light Warriors! But Nooooooo. We only Got 3. That Monk guy needs to get himself a Chocobo.)

Kin: (It's A Record!)

Feather: (That was THE most Words in Parenthesis!)

Kin: (38 Words!... I think.)

Kuro: (But that Doesn't Count!)

Kin: (Why not?)

Kuro: (Because these Parenthesis are showing that we're not actually Talking. So if we were Talking, they wouldn't be in Parenthesis. Therefore, It shouldn't Count.)

Kin: (That was the smartest thing you ever said!)

Feather: (Yay!)

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

Jiru: Okay. How about this. I'll just Unlock the Door and whoever brings me the Levigrass Shoes first Wins!

Black Mage: Wins what?

Jiru: The Title of, "Light Warriors!"

Phil: We SO gotta get those Shoes.

Nero: Not if we nab 'em!

Old Guy 1: You're Obviously Fakes! You can't get them!

Kuro: (Let's Move out- OH WAIT.)

Elsewhere...

Water Crystal: Ooh, This oughta' be interesting. Or even better, maybe someone can replace those (Ahem) "Light Warriors"! Hmm... Maybe I'll do a little, Lookin' into the future...

He sees the Old guys as the Light Warriors.

Old Guy 1: RETREAT!11!1

Old Guy 2: They're just Goblins... WAIT! HE'S RIGHT! RUN!

Water Crystal: Hmm... Not them...

He sees the Thieves as Light Warriors.

(Insert some Giant huge monster here)

Phil: Let's Get Him!

Tink!

Tink!

Tink!

Tink!

Phil: Our Weapons are useless! RUN AWAY!

Water Crystal: Agh... Not them,

Kuro: Wark!

Water Crystal: They're only 3 People...

Kuro: (DARN IT!)

Water Crystal: Who else... What? That can't be! That's all of them? GO LIGHT WARRIORS! BEAT THOSE EXCUSES!

Black Mage: Hmm... Why do I feel like I want to Punch the Water Crystal?

Jiru: GO!

ZOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM! The Light Warrior competition has Began! Between The Old Guys, The Thieves, And our Group of Four.

Kuro: (And us!)

Not them. They're only three people.

Kuro: (DARN IT! AGAIN!)


	15. More Competition!

Author's Note: Know what? Because of last chapter's title, I'm gonna treat this as a(n) Olympic competition. It'll be next Chapter, Just wait.

DISCLAIMER: I don't Own Final Fantasy III. I only own Black Mage, Nero, Kuro, Fist, The 4 Thieves, The Old guys, and The Onion Kids. luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, Feather, And Kin. No Stealing, K?

Jiru: WAIT WAIT!

Everyone stops like a freeze-frame.

Voice: Ooh, he's got everyone all warmed up for us! Let's go!

4 Randomly colored Kid looking Knights jump out of nowhere out of a bush.

Red: We are the Onion Kids!

Blue: We're a rainbow!

Green: 'Cept for him.

Red?: Wuzzup!

Jiru: Uhh... What I was GONNA say, Is-

Red: We're not Done!

Jiru: Fine, continue.

Red?: We're gonna be the BEST L.W's Ever!

Old Guy 3: What makes j00 so shoore?

Green: Cuz we got Secret Powers!

Old Guy 4: O RLY?

Gale: Can you explain?

Red: Simple. You summon the Game Genie and tell him; (Ahem) NNSUELAX, LTEZZAIA, LTEZLAIA, LTEZGAIA, GTEPZGPA, GTEPPGAI, GZKUXTIZ, AKUOZTAA, AUUOPTAA, AKUOGTAA, YZSOOGAA, And YZVPUGAA.

Green: And No, those are Not random capitalized letters randomly typed on a keyboard.

Mini Author's Note: All those codes actually do stuff. I would Put a list... But that would be... Uhh... Something. I can't find the word at this moment. In short, Those codes make you real' awesome.

Everyone that's not Onion Kids, or Black Mage: What exactly is ALL OF THAT?

Red: Exactly.

Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Just to the left of that scene, A Blue Chocobo wearing Black Monk's Clothes just strolls by.

Kuro: (Wait! YOU! You look like you're good at fighting.)

Chocobo: (Well, Yeah I am, but...)

Kuro: (PERFECT! See that little fight goin' on over there?)

The Chocobo nods.

Kuro: (That's a Light Warrior Fight, you have to be a group of 4 people to join in.)

Chocobo: (But you're 3.)

Kuro: (Exactly.)

Chocobo: (Well, in that case, i'll go with you.)

Kuro: (Yes! Now, The introduction. Hey! Guys! Get over here!)

Kin: (Who is this?)

Kuro: (He's our 4th Light Warrior!)

Feather: (Awesome!)

Kin: (My name's Kin. I'm a Summoner that wears Red Mage hats.)

Feather: (I'm Feather! There's a big mystery about me... Am I a Dragoon, or a Knight? Betcha' can't guess!)

Kuro: (Name's Kuro. Black Mage.)

Chocobo: (That's an odd name.)

Kuro: (It's Black in Japanese.)

Chocobo: (Ah. Well, Fist here, I'm a Monk.)

Kuro: (Now let's make our big entrance!)

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

Jiru: Hmm... Well now that we got ourselves a little competition... Let's BATTLE IT OUT!

The Chocobos run out.

Kuro: (Who has 3 People NOW?)

Kin: (What's that supposed to mean?)

Kuro Sleeps one of the Old Guys.

Old Guy 2: I Feel asleep!

Gale: Doesn't he mean Fell?

Old Guy 1: No, Apparently you don't get it.

Bob: I'm pretty sure all of us don't get it.

Old Guy 1: Exactly.

Kuro: (You see?)

Kin: (Ah.)

Jiru: And now, The naming of the teams shall commence!

Alf: What if we can't think of one?

Jiru: The Water Crystal will give you one by default.

About 5 minutes later... No one thought of anything. So the Water Crystal had to name all the Teams.

Jiru: Take it away, Water Crystal!

Water Crystal: I think I got 'em all... This Team here is, (Ahem) Team, "Light Warriors"

Nero: Woo!

Alf: Yay!

Gale: Yeah!

Black Mage: (Unenthusiastic) Whee.

Water Crystal: Movin' on, here is, Team ChocoRage!

Kuro: (I wish we could talk...!)

Kin: (That'd be nice...!)

Feather: (Are Pop-Up-Cards allowed here?)

Fist: (Probably not.)

Water Crystal: Next to them it's... Team Thievery!

Phil: We SO have to win this.

Bob: Here we go!

Fred: What do those shoes do anyway?

1337: Makes us the Light Warriors!

Water Crystal: Alright, You are... Team Kiddies!

Red: Respect the Game Genie!

Blue: Noting like 16 hits per Hand!

Green: Can't go wrong with 99 of every stat.

Red?: Can't forget about the Mega Gil after every Battle!

Water Crystal: And Finally, Team Oldies!

Old Guy 1: We're not Old!

Old Guy 2: But that's what the author Labeled us as.

Old Guy 3: wO0T!

Old Guy 4: lE3t!

Water Crystal: Is that it? Any questions?

Nero: When did he get with you? (Points at Fist) Is he Taken?

Fist: ((Shakes his head.))

Nero: Yay! (Picks him up.) Do you have a name already?

Fist: ((Nods quickly and points to his knuckles, Then curls up his hand into a Fist.))

Nero: Fist? Is that it?

Fist: ((Nods quickly))

Nero: Awesome! Hey Guys! I got a Chocobo! His name's Fist.

Fist: Wark!

Black Mage: Are we finally ready to start?

Jiru: On your mark... Get set...

Everyone waits epicly. (Don't ask how.)

Jiru: GO!

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM! For Real this time! now that Team ChocoRage and Team Kiddies Joined the Fray, There's now 5 Teams competing for the Light Warriors!

End Note: That was short. I know. It's just I have like, 12 things I have to do right now. And now I have 11 because now I updated this.


	16. What an Excuse!

Author's Note: For people who don't like the Competition thing I'm doing, It'll end next chapter. Don't worry. And now the Disclaimer because I'm so darn used to typing it.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy III. I only own Black Mage, Nero, Kuro, Fist, The 4 Thieves, The Old Guys, and the Onion Kids. luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, Feather, And Kin.

The Race finally started, And everyone pushing, shoving, you name it; To get inside. And when everyone was in, The race finally FINALLY started.

Red: Activate 99 Agility!

Alf: Isn't that Cheating?

Jiru: (Shouting from a distance) NO IT ISNT! ANYTHING GOES!

Phil: Sweet! Go, Legit Agility!

Teams Thievery and Kiddies both ran off quickly.

Kuro: (Do we have any quick Runners?)

Fist: (Dude. We're Chocobos.)

Kuro: (Yeah...)

Team ChocoRage Speeds off.

Old Guy 1: Curse our Old-ness!

Black Mage: How do we run faster?

Nero: Dude. You have your White Magic.

Black Mage: It's Not White Magic!... And Yeah...

Team, "Light Warriors" Leaves behind Team Oldies.

And now, Back with Jiru and the Water Crystal...

Jiru: So what's the current standing?

Water Crystal: In first, Team Kiddies! In Second, Team Thievery! Third, Team ChocoRage! And Trailing in last is Team, "Light Warriors"!

Jiru: What about Team Oldies?

Water Crystal: They're Disqualified.

Jiru: Why?

Old Guy 1: Goblinz!111!1 RUN AWAY!1!

Jiru: Ah.

Back to our Race...

Red: (Running extremely Fast while talking) Blue, Status Report.

Blue: We're owning.

Green: Wait, How much did we tell the Game Genie?

Red: About, 12 Codes I think.

Red?: Isn't the maximum capacity for codes like, 4 or something?

They all freeze instantly.

Red: Niiiiiiiiice other me. We were gonna be the Light Warriors and everything, but nooooooo. You crashed our game.

Water Crystal: Team Kiddies is Disqualified!

Black Mage: Phew... one less thing to worry about.

Phil: Legit Agility Rocks!

Kin: (I forgot about them...)

Bob: Hey stop!

Phil: What is it?

Bob: A Secret Passage!

Fred: We're taking a pretty good lead, I guess we can check it out.

It's a Secret Treasure Room filled with massive amounts of NOTHING!... But they checked every Chest, confident there was at least something in one Treasure.

Jiru: Does it look like Team Thievery has a chance of Winning?

Water Crystal: Nah. But I'll Disqualify them on the sly...

Jiru: Jeez, who's left?

Water Crystal: Team ChocoRage and, "Light Warriors".

Jiru: They're basically on the same side!

Water Crystal: Explain.

Jiru: I mean, If Team ChocoRage wins, They'll just Join back up with Team, "Light Warriors" Anyway! But if Team, "Light Warriors" Wins, It'll be the same thing, but turned around!

Water Crystal: Meh, I just felt like Disqualifying people for a good enough reason.

Jiru: Well this sucks. HEY DOWN THERE! RACE IS OFF!

Everyone, "Down there": WHAT?

Black Mage: I mean, everyone made a HUGE deal about this race, and it turns out into a little excuse like this?

Water Crystal: Why do I feel like I've used that word against somebody before? And why does my side hurt?

Jiru: Because that Mage guy Punched You.

Water Crystal: Really? I didn't notice.

Black Mage: DARN IT!

Jiru: DELILAH! THE RACE IS OFF!

Delilah: Really? Well the Shoes'll be outside.

Red: Yoink!

Everyone else: WHAT?

Red: Refreshed game with less codes! It rocks. Go 99 Agility!

Black Mage: Lady! where are those shoes?

Delilah: Right here.

Black Mage: Huh.

Delilah: Those kids got fake shoes.

Black Mage: (Faints from relief)

Gale: Mind if we have those? Light Warrior stuff and all.

Delilah: Not a problem.

They get the shoes and get warped outside.

Gale: Glad that's over...

Kuro: (Tell me 'bout it.)

Nero: So we get to stay as the Light Warriors?

Alf and Feather: Yay!

After they got back on track...

Nero: What do these shoes do anyway?

1337: Mak-

Nero: OTHER than Makes you Light Warriors.

Jiru: They allow access into Goldor's Mansion!

Black Mage: So we got all carried up in this mess just to go to some Mansion?

Jiru: The Earth Crystal is in there.

Black Mage: Oh, that changes everything. (Runs off)

BAM! They kick open the mansion's Doors.

Voice: No I don't got any Belongings. Other than my like, 27 Treasure Chests... The Earth Crystal... And- Yeah I got Belongings.

Gale: (Muffled Voice) Check again.

Voice: Well, Make that NO Treasure Chests...

Alf: It's Been awhile since you've done that.

Gale: Yeah...

Voice: Dang it, you RUINED IT!

Hyne's Voice: Told ya'. they're ruin-ers.

Voice: Huh... I guess you di-

Black Mage: Hello.

Gold Knight: AH! Don't do that to me! And how'd you get here?

Black Mage: Uh... Legit Agility?

Gold Knight: Don't be ridiculous! Only Thieves have that.

Nero: Uhh, hey. Mr. Golden Dude? Can we get that Crystal behind you?

Goldor: It's Goldor, and No.

Druid: CURSED ARROW TO THE BACK OF THE FACE!

Their, "Scholar Smarts" Kick in again and it Shattered the Earth Crystal.

Gale: What is this? A Villain Reunion?

Goldor: Uhh... EXIT TO THE FACE!

Druid: I taught him that one.

Black Mage: Well that sucks. What now?

Nero: Fly our Airship in 40 circles until we find a good place?

Black Mage: Meh, What the heck.

A couple Minutes Later...

Prince: Hey Dad! Look! What is that? A bird?

King: No, it's just a couple idiots flying around in circles on an Airship.

Prince: Oh. Can we Blow them up?

King: Meh, What the Heck.

BOOM!

Black Mage: Well that sucked even more. What now?

Kuro: (Beat up that King?)

Kin: (They can't understand us...)

Kuro: (Sucks, Doesn't it?)

Fist: (Hold on, I'm good at acting stuff.)

Fist does random things that's supposed to mean, "Beat up the King."

Nero: Beat up the King? Black Mage, Can We?

Black Mage: Meh, What the heck.

Nero and Kuro: Cool!


	17. A FAILURE OF A FILLER TO THE FACE!

Author's Note: This chapter was intended to be a filler... But I added some stuff to it that made it not Filler-y. Me so good with describing words. And now the Disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy III. I only own Black Mage, Viking, Geomancer, Nero, Kuro, Fist, The 4 Thieves, The Old Guys and the Onion Kids. luigi400000 owns Alf, Gale, Feather, and Kin. No Stealing, K? (I forgot to put it last chapter! I ALWAYS say that!)

POW!

King: Ow!

Black Mage: Don't blow us up ever again.

King: It was his idea!

Prince: Are you gonna hurt me?

Black Mage: Maybe.

SLAP!

Prince: Ow!

Black Mage: Let's go.

Nero: That was awesome!... What now?

Gale: Might as well look around the towns.

Inside North-east Salonia...

Gale: Anyone here?

Black Mage: There's people everywhere!

Gale: I meant important people!

Black Mage: Ah. Wait... Isn't this the Place where-

Voice: Yes.

Black Mage: Ah, Always knowing what I'm gonna say...

Viking: You know me so well, Bro.

Alf Gale and Nero: WHAT?

Geomancer: (Gasp!) Mr. Magey's here? Yay!

Nero: Mr. Magey?

Black Mage: That was my nickname while growing up...

Gale: He's your brother too?

Black Mage: Yup.

Alf: Got names?

Black Mage: Just like me, Got one, but not sayin'.

Nero: Darnit, they're all the no-face classes!

Kuro: (Figures.)

Fist: (You don't have a face either.)

Kuro: (Uh...)

Viking: Still didn't change class, I see.

Black Mage: You know I'm the only one who actually GETS an upgrade, right?

Viking: Yeah, but you've been like that since we were kids!

Black Mage: You too.

Viking: Yeah... Hey, I was just trying to make a point OK?

Black Mage: Still got that huge Axe?

Viking: Huuuugh! (Pulls it out) Sure do!

Alf: So what can you do?

Geomancer: Me? I can use what environment we're in as a weapon.

Alf: Cool!

Geomancer: For example, if we're on a boat, I can make a huge-Giant wave!

Alf: Awesome!

Gale: I know this is off subject, but what are your ages?

Black Mage: This is Final Fantasy. No one has an exact age. Just what age they look like.

Viking: Just tell 'em!

Black Mage: Okay, Okay, The Kid over there is the smallest one, I'm the Middle aged one, And This guy's the Oldest.

Viking: That's me!

Nero: Wait...

Black Mage: What?

Nero: Did you mean them when we were in Amur's Armor Shop?

Black Mage: Yeah.

Viking: So where you livin'?

Black Mage: Dorga's Village.

Viking: Really? Well me and him are stayin' here for the moment.

Geomancer: So what were YOU doin' all this time Mr. Magey?

Black Mage: Being a Light Warrior...

Geomancer: Cool! Is it fun?

Black Mage: (Looks behind him)

Alf Gale and Nero Wave quickly with smiles on their faces.

Black Mage: Mostly.

Viking: Get a hold of the Meteor yet?

Black Mage: Oh MORE than Got a hold of it.

Geomancer: Whatta' ya' mean?

Black Mage: I blew up a hole in the Giant tree in the Living Forest.

Viking: That huge thing? Dang, Man!

Black Mage: Yeah... Heh.

Geomancer: Where'd your friends go?

Black Mage: Argh, did they leave?

Viking: Couple minutes ago actually.

Black Mage: They do that a lot.

Geomancer: Well that's not nice.

Black Mage: Eh, might as well stay here until they finished doing whatever.

Alf, Nero, and Gale go inside a house and sit at a round table.

Alf: Why did we come here anyway?

Gale: I have no idea.

Nero: Well now that we're here, maybe we can try to find out more about our classes?

Gale: Meh, what the heck. Why we're you gonna' be a Thief anyway? I want to know more about that.

Nero: Oh, that? Heheh.

BAM!

Geomancer: You Lied! You said you were gonna' "stay here"!

Black Mage: Yeah... I just wanna get outta' here!

Gale: Why did you Kick the door down? A Simple Knock would have done fine.

Black Mage: We leave, now.

Alf: To where? Our Airship blew up.

Scholar: We can fix that!

Black Mage: Psst. (You're not supposed to show up 'till we beat the boss!)

Scholar: Sorry! My Bad! (Leaves)

Nero: Well now what?

Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Kuro: ...Did anyone just see that Prince kid run by freaking out?

Kin: No, Why?

Feather: He looks like he needs to spread the news about something bad that happened at the Castle.

Kuro: How do you know?

Feather Points to the top of the Castle. There's a Giant Black Thunder Cloud above the Castle.

Kin: That sounds about right.

Kuro: Why did he just run into the Bar?

Feather: Isn't that one of those places where mean people hang out?

Fist: Dude, That was pretty stupid of him.

Kuro: I mean, sure, something bad happened. But the first place he runs into is a BAR.

Kin: Video game logic these days...

Kuro: Hey! I was supposed to say that!

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

After the Light Warriors Finally went into the Bar due to the Chocobo's hinting them to go there...

Black Mage: I still have no idea what this is gonna d- Oh.

Prince: Help me!

Black Mage: Oh, Okay.

Bar Guy: What makes you so Calm-ZzZZzz...

Black Mage: Come on.

Prince: Yay!

Nero: Wasn't he the kid that blew up our Airship?

Black Mage: Oh yeah.

SLAP!

Prince: Ow!

Black Mage: Now, what were you gonna' tell us?

Prince: Daddy got cursed by this guy that kept throwing cursed things at his Face and-

Alf: Oh, That guy? We beat him before!

Prince: ...And threw a book that said Exit on it at my Face.

Nero: Yup. That's definitely the dude.

Black Mage: Do you still have that Exit book?

Prince: No...

Black Mage: (Dangit...)

Nero: What's your name, little dude?

Prince: Allus.

Alf: Let's go save the King!

At the Castle...

Guard: The King's cursed, help.

Black Mage: You're the most helpful guy in the world.

Guard: Why does everyone tell me that?

Black Mage: ...Can you... Open the gate, Maybe?

Guard: Good plan. (Everyone tells me that too...)

Inside the Castle...

Other Guard: The King's cursed, help.

Black Mage: Are you related to that other guy?

Other Guard: Why does everyone say that to me?

Black Mage: Oh, Brother...

Geomancer: You Called?

Black Mage: No...

Geomancer: Okay! (Leaves)

Druid: Why are you here again?

Nero: To beat you up!

Druid: This is Final Fantasy. The Evil guys themselves never fight, They just summon some ridiculously powerful monster, and when it dies the Evil Guy randomly dies too.

Black Mage: I know, right?

Druid: You know what I'm gonna do now right?

Allus: Throw something at my face? (Quickly Hides behind Black Mage)

Druid: Hey, can you move?

Black Mage: Sure.

Allus: Huh?

Druid: Silence Book to the Face!

BAM!

Allus: (Random muffling)

Druid: Much better. RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL MONSTER TO THE FACE!

Nero: Come on, let's beat this guy like we did everyone else!

Gale: By doing something stupid that ensures our victory?

Nero: Precisely!


	18. The Epic Return of The Gear!

Author's Note: No Author's note. Surprised?

Everyone: ...

Gale: Well?

Nero: Well what? We need to do something stupid that ensures our victory!

Black Mage: I think the problem is what stupid thing do we do.

Nero: Ah, that's right...

More Silence...

Druid: Well?

Alf: WAIT! We're thinking!

Even more silence...

Nero: You know what?

Nero threw the Gear at the ridiculously powerful monster.

Druid: That better not have killed him.

Black Mage: You know that good 'ol Author of ours!

It dies.

Druid: Well THAT'S JUST... ARGH! This is getting RIDICULOUS!

Water Crystal: I said the Same exact words!

Druid: Whatever. EXIT TO MY FACE!

WHAM! He leaves.

Alf: He's weird.

Gale: Yup.

Allus: What about my Dad?

Black Mage: What ABOUT him?

Allus: Didn't you read the script for this chapter?

Black Mage: No, Gimmie that.

Black Mage quickly scrolls through it.

Black Mage: Ooooooohhhhhhh. That's why.

Allus: So what now?

Nero: (Pats him on the back) Just assume he's dead and let's move on, Little dude!

Allus: (Sniff)

Viking: So what goes on here?

Black Mage: We just did something stupid to ensure our victory.

Viking: Ah.

Black Mage: So what's with you?

Viking: Meh, just wanted to see what you were doin'.

Gale: So what do we do now?

Water Crystal: Just because you probably wont ever find out, you gotta' go to Dorga's House.

Alf: Where's that?

Water Crystal: Got a map?

Black Mage Opens the map.

Water Crystal: Let's see, it's riiiiight... He-

Black Mage: WAR-

Water Crystal: OH NO YOU DON'T!

Black Mage: Fine.

Nero: We really gonna walk all the way there?

Black Mage: Nah. WARP!

Water Crystal: ARGH!

Druid: Why'd you let him do that?

Water Crystal: How'd you get here?

Druid I used Exit. The Exit is just over there, about 18 seconds away. But seriously why'd you let him do that? That's cheating.

Water Crystal: He snuck that one when I wasn't ready... I knew he was gonna do it that first time...

Druid: You'd be cool if you were evil.

Water Crystal: I know.

And now with the Light Warriors...

Nero: Haha! You got him GOOD, Dude!

Black Mage: Ahh... Yeah, that was awesome.

Alf: Where are we?

Gale: Dorga's House.

Alf: Oh.

Dorga: Hello! Welcome to My house!

Black Mage: Are you gonna ask me for a key and give me one if I say no anyway?

Dorga: Oh, Heavens, No! Who the heck would do that?

Nero: Uhh... Old Dude? What are these little guys called?

Dorga: They're called Moogles.

Nero: Oh.

Dorga: No one knows what series they rightfully belong to.

Black Mage: Hey, I've been wondering about that!

Alf Gale and Nero: WHAT?

Black Mage: Outside stuff. You wouldn't know.

Dorga: So anyway, I mean think about it, They're here, And in Secret of Mana, and... so on. So it's like I said. No one knows what series they belong to.

Alf: What are we supposed to be doing anyway?

Dorga: I was supposed to bug you into taking me to the Magic Circle Cave. But I find talking about Moogles more interesting.

Black Mage: You Talk a lot.

Dorga: What's that supposed to mean?

Black Mage: It's not like what you're thinking. It's just I've noticed all your sentences are Two-Liners.

Dorga: Oh. Well I am quite Knowledgeable!

Nero: Well, Let's go!

Moogle: Kupo!

Gale: What's he doing?

Dorga: Oh, he's selling Magic that if he were to use it, it would probably destroy us all.

Gale: Ah.

Alf: Umm...

Gale: What?

Alf: He's selling Haste...

Nero: That's a, "Destroy us all" Spell?

Dorga: Why, Yes!

Everyone Looks at Black Mage.

Black Mage: Uhh... Umm... That's the... White one! Yeah! He selling the White one!

Nero: You have that one already, Dude!

Black Mage: It's not White Magic! How many times do I have to tell you?

Nero: Enough Times.

Black Mage: Ah, Whatever.

Dorga: Come on! Let's go to Magic Circle Cave!

Black Mage: No.

Dorga: Come on! Please?

Black Mage: Don't bug us into going in there, it won't work.

Dorga: It's where the Earth Crystal Is.

Black Mage: Oh! That changes everything! Let's go!

Dorga: (Sucker...)

Time Skip! oFTob

Dorga: We're here! Guess what!

Black Mage: What.

Dorga: There's no Earth Crystal!

Black Mage: Ugh... After Another one of those do everything to you caves...With being mini included...

Dorga: And Guess what! Again!

Black Mage: What.

Dorga: I'm going to Blow this place up!

Gale: Uh... Why?

Dorga: Because I don't like this place.

Black Mage: So you wanted to come here... To blow it up...

Dorga: Precisely! Now Cave go Boom! You better leave, unless you plan on going with it!

Alf: Wont you die?

Dorga: Oh... I didn't think about that... Meh I'm going to do something stupid to make me survive!

Nero: Hooray for doing Stupid stuff!

Dorga: Now after the cave is gone, Go to the Temple of Time.

Black Mage: Uh?

Dorga: Wrong Game.

Black Mage: Oh.

Dorga: And Beat the SeaKing.

Black Mage: Uh?

Dorga: Wrong Game.

Black Mage: Oh.

Dorga: Now good-bye Cave! I don't like you. Time to BOMBZ?

Insert one of those huge explosion thingies here.

Gale: Another Internet user for the list!

Black Mage: I didn't think he'd know that one...

Alf: Do you know what they're talking about?

Nero: No idea.

Dorga: Hello.

Black Mage: Oh, you made it.

Allus: What?

Alf and Gale: What?

Nero: Why is everyone saying what?

Allus: This is not supposed to happen!

Alf and Gale: How'd you get here?

Nero: Thank you.

Gale: Seriously! There's a giant current that only an Airship going 189 MPH or something can pass!

Allus: That's not important!

Gale: But I'm pretty sure everyone wants to know!

Allus: True... But anyway! This wasn't supposed to happen!

Nero: What now, Little dude?

Allus: He was supposed to Blow with the cave and everyone assumes he died and THEN He does something stupid that makes him survive!

Black Mage: I like twisting the Story. It's fun.

Allus: Just don't mess up the storyline anymore, okay?

Black Mage: (Whatever, Mr. Director...)


	19. Not Black Mage's Warp!

Author's Note: Yet again, No Author's Note. Surprised? Yet again?

Allus: Don't mess up the storyline Yet again, Ok?

Black Mage: When could you read the Author's Note?

Allus: What's that?

Black Mage: Oh, Just a coincidence...

Dorga: Now go!

They Go'd.

Black Mage: Smooth, Author.

Gale: I've noticed something...

Alf: What?

Gale: Dorga's a Teacher? Of Magic that can destroy the World if used properly?

Black Mage: Ayup.

Back with Dorga...

Dorga: Aww, Dangit! I forgot to make it so they can go underwater with their Airship! Meh, They can do something stupid to beat the place instantly! I'm so smart. And That Mage guy was right... I do Talk a lot! You're probably constantly scrolling to the left more and more and probably thinking, "Dang, how much more can this screen scroll?" Well... Now I'll tell myself a story. Back whe-

OKAY! Back with the Light Warriors!

Nero: Dudes, Another Record!

Gale: What?

Nero: The Old Dude! He broke the record of most words in a sentence!

Alf: What's the new score?

Nero: 76 Words!... And he wasn't done!

Alf and Gale: WOAH!

Black Mage: Woah-hoh, Not even The Water Crystal Pointing out all the reasons we shouldn't be Light Warriors can top that!

Gale: I don't know whether to laugh or feel bad...

Nero and Alf: Same...

Black Mage: Eh... What the heck's at the end of that Temple Anyway? Usually someone tells us what we have to get or do.

(Gulp) Back with Dorga...

Dorga: The End. Wait... Dargh! Why am I so forgetful nowdays? Those Shiny Do-gooder-Kids were supposed to go to the Temple of Time to get Noah's Lute to wake up Unne! Now, You're probably wondering, "Who's Noah?" "What's a Lute?" Or, "Are you gonna talk more again?" Any of those 3. Come on, Pick one.

Phew... Now with the L.W's...

Red?: Hey! That's MY catchphrase!

Blue: Sucks we didn't get to be those...

Red: Yup.

(Sigh) Whatever, Now with the Light Warriors...

Gale: How the heck do we get in there?

Black Mage: Usually someone tells us how to get into places or give us something in order to...

With Dorga...

Dorga: ...

Well?

Dorga: What? I already said I forgot to make their Airship able to go underwater.

Oh, Okay, Back with The Light Warriors...

Black Mage: Would you quit that?

Quit what?

Black Mage: Constantly changing whose point of view it is!

Fine I'll stay with you, then.

Black Mage: Good.

Gale: Conversation... With who?

Black Mage: The Author.

Gale: You actually got to talk to him?

Nero: What the heck do we do now?

Alf: If anyone knows what we have to do... It's gotta be Dorga!

Nero: Let's Go!

...

Alf: Well?

Black Mage: Oh, Right. WARP!

NOTHING

Black Mage: Nothing? NOTHING? I SO have Warp right here in my... Oh no.

Alf: What?

Black Mage: It's gone!

Alf Gale and Nero: WHAT?

Nero: Now we can't cheat anymore!

Back at Salonia Castle...

Druid: Where is it anyway?

Water Crystal: Right Here.

Druid: You SO Gotta be Evil before you Shatter.

Water Crystal: I always thought I'd be good at being Evil... But No... Everyone's like, "There needs to be a 4th Light Crystal!" Otherwise I'd SO be Evil.

Druid: Ah.

Now with The Light Warriors...

Alf: How do we get to Dorga's House Now?

Scholar: We can Fix That!

Alf: How?

Scholar: Got an Airship?

Gale: Over there.

Scholar: To work!

After some amazing Airship Transformations...

Scholar: All Finished!

Gale: So what's new?

Scholar: It can go 189 MPH or something now!

Gale: Sweet!

Nero: Let's Go!

...

Gale: Well?

Black Mage: What, so I have to drive?

Nero: Yeah!

At Dorga's House...

Dorga: Oh, You're back! There's so much I have to tell you!

Black Mage: That's why we came.

Dorga: (Starts saying random Magic Words, I would say them, But I forgot.)

Nero: Dude, What're you trying to say?

Dorga: There! Now you're airship can go underwater!

Gale: Airship? Couldn't we have just got a Submarine or something?

Dorga: I'll explain. One time I was saying random Gibberish and I saw a Flash! I wondered what that Flash did. So at on the Dwarves' Intercom, there's been reports of Airships sinking. So I was like, "Cool! I just made Submarines go out of buisness!"

Gale: That's a... Odd Story.

Dorga: I know, Right? Well, Shoo Shoo! Go get Noah's Lute and come back with Unne!

Black Mage: THAT'S what we have to do.

Nero: Let's Go!

...

Black Mage: Don't start with me.

Nero and Gale: Fine...

Alf: Wait!

Dorga: Hm?

Alf: Where did his Warp Go?

Dorga: No idea, Sorry.

Alf: Oh...

At Salonia... They're there because... Well, Look at a map. See the 2 Fanged Cape under Salonia? That's where the Temple of Time is.

Viking: Oh, Hey! What're you doing back here?

Black Mage: Just a rest stop.

Geomancer: Where you goin'?

Black Mage: The Temple of Time.

Geomancer: Huh?

Black Mage: Wrong Game.

Geomancer: Oh.

Viking and Geomancer: Good Luck!

At the Temple of Time...

Black Mage: Great. Another Chapter, another Dungeon.

Nero: Dude, What would we do without them?

Black Mage: Move the Storyline onward so that Prince Kid can stop waving that script in our faces and saying, "That's not supposed to happen!" Maybe?

Gale: Ah, True.

Nero: Can't we Warp Cheat past thi- Oh, Wait...

Black Mage: Dangit, I would've too...

Water Crystal: HA! HAHAHAHAHA! Take that! Now do the Dungeon! What's wrong? Don't wanna'? HAHAHAHA!

Druid: We gotta work on that Evil laugh of yours.

Water Crystal: That, we shall.

With The Light Warriors...

Black Mage: Why do I feel that someone, somewhere, just stole one of my lines?

Nero: It's just your head, Dude.

Gale: Why do you make crazy assumptions like that anyway? Of course they all turn out true... But how do you know that stuff?

Black Mage: You just feel it. Watch this. (Whisper... Give us your Belongings!... Whisper...)

Nero: Who just used my line? That's MY Line!

Gale: Cool!


	20. The Rise of The Dark Warriors!

Author's Note: Guess there's not much to be said anymore, huh?

Black Mage: Agh, why did it have to be warp? He coulda' picked Kill or something...

Somewhere else...

Druid: Why didn't you?

Water Crystal: Don't you know? Kill never hits. Everyone knows that!

Druid: Is that so?

Water Crystal: But death is cool, buy that one instead.

Druid: So what makes Warp so special?

Water Crystal: Well, He's able to bring out Warp's Full potential. Any other ordinary Black Mage would only get it's useless effect which Exit easily outclasses.

Druid: So he can actually WARP with it?

Water Crystal: That's why I took it.

Druid: See, Being evil is cool.

Water Crystal: Totally.

With the Light Warriors...

Gale: Why should we go back to Dorga's House?

Black Mage: I wanna' see what that moogle sells, who knows?

Gale: It's highly likely he won't be selling it...

Alf: Isn't it rare?

Black Mage: Actually, for being Level 6, No.

Nero: Aww, isn't he that crazy old dude?

Black Mage: Yup.

Back with Dorga...

Dorga: How many times are you gonna' come back here!... I mean... Hello! Whatcha' need?

Black Mage: Where's the Moogle that will destroy us all?

Dorga: Over there, Behind that counter with the giant, "MAGIC SHOP" Sign over it.

Black Mage: Ah, that one.

Mini Author's Note: Dorga actually DOES sell warp. Along with Haste, Aero2, Soft... And I believe Fire3 and Bio too.

Black Mage: Fire 3... Bio... Ah, HA!

With Water Crystal and Druid...

Water Crystal: Ah, DANGIT!

Druid: Something tells me that you're not so good at being evil.

Water Crystal: It's because they Cheat! I mean, who else would've thought of stealing is most used spell?

Goldor: Well I would've... Eventually.

Water Crystal: When did you get here?

Goldor: When Guzco Got here.

Guzco: Hey.

Druid: This is weird.

Water Crystal: Wait, we're 4 people, right? Well let's be DARK WARRIORS! Who's with me?

Druid: That, we shall.

Black Mage: Seriously, Don't use my lines. Use Gale's or something.

Guzco: But he doesn't have any!

Black Mage: True...

Water Crystal: That aside... How did you get here?

Black Mage: What were you being angry about in the First place? Yeah, that's how.

Water Crystal: Grr... GET HIM! WHILE THERE'S NO FIGHTERS TO BE IN THE FRONT ROW!

Pop! He was gone, and he... Kinda didn't use warp on that one.

Water Crystal: Then what DID he do, Smart guy?

Oh, he used Stop to freeze you all, then he used his Fire Rod to draw Burn Marks on your faces, and then got bored and used Warp.

Druid: That's so childish of him.

Goldor: How could he draw on you?

Druid: Uh... He didn't? OW!

Guzco: Sorry, Had to.

Druid: Don't tell me he wrote, "Kick me" On my back.

Guzco: It's Funny!

Now with the Light Warriors, Back in Salonia.

Viking: Got your Warp back?

Black Mage: Yeah... Ends up I bought it again... Wait, How did you know?

Viking: You were just down there, we could hear you.

Mini Author's Note: By now you should have the map in your Favorites. So pull it up again. The Temple of Time is almost Directly next to Salonia.

Geomancer: Does that mean you're gonna' leave again?

Black Mage: Yup, Light Warrior Stuff and all. But I guess we can stick around a bit longer.

With The Dark Warriors...

Water Crystal: I like the sound of that... (Ahem) Anyway! Did What were everyone's Plans on defeating the Light Warriors before WE got defeated by the Light Warriors?

Guzco: Why do you have to know that?

Water Crystal: It might Help with another plan, you know? you never know.

Guzco: I tried to Steal the Horns of Ice and Fire.

Goldor: What? What do those even do?

Guzco: I have no Idea, but if the Dwarves made a gigantic deal about it, it must be awesome.

Goldor: True...

Druid: I killed one of their 5th members and tried to beat 'em with a gigantic Monster that was killed instantly by a Gear to the head.

Goldor: I just had a Huge Castle, and My Earth Crystal is a Fake.

Everyone else: WHAAAAT?

Goldor: You know, that Earth Crystal that Druid Shattered.

Druid: Heheh. I gotta' get more of them cursed arrows.

Guzco: We have to try something like that...

Goldor: So? Anything coming to you, Water Crystal?

Water Crystal: Nah, I just wanted to hear everyone's stories.

Druid: That's Evil!

Water Crystal: Isn't that good?

Druid: ...Well Yeah, but...

Back with The Light Warriors...

Black Mage: Ready to stay with us now?

Yes, unless something occurs to me about the Dark Warriors, so I have to switch to them.

Black Mage: Ah, Okay.

Gale: The Author again?

Black Mage: Why, Yes!

With Dorga...

Dorga: Seriously, That Kid needs to get his own lines...

Light Warriors...

Black Mage: I thought you-

It's your fault you decided to steal Dorga's Line.

Black Mage: I guess...

Alf: Can we go now?

Black Mage: Yeah, sure.

At the Temple of Time...

Nero: Can we cheat Past this?

Black Mage: I would... But that would make the Author look lazy.

As if I already am enough Lazy. :P

Gale: So... Make him Look Lazier?

Hey, If I look TOO Lazy, people will stop reading, and you will get less fans.

Black Mage: But I don't wanna' do this place!

I would say Too bad, do it... But I know how you guys are.

Black Mage: So are you gonna Time skip it?

Maybe...


	21. The Waking of Unne!

Author's Note: If you haven't read my Bio already... I'm making an RPG Maker 2003 game for the Fanfic. For more details read my Bio.

After the Light Warriors Terrible Journey through the Temple of Time...

Black Mage: Aw, Why'd you have to go and make our journey Terrible?

Time Skipping has it's prices...

Black Mage: Whatever.

Alf: What were we supposed to do here anyway?

Black Mage: We have to get Noah's Lute and Wake up Unne.

Gale: How the Heck did you remember that?

Black Mage: Because the Author just checked the Previous 2 chapters for a refresher on the Plot.

Alf and Gale: Ah.

Nero: Then where is this Flute Thingy?

Black Mage and Gale: That's LUTE THINGY to you!

Alf: But that's a good point, Where is it?

Gale: Uh... Over there?

Nero: Charge!

BAM!

Alf: Hey, There it is!

Black Mage: Now how did you know the Lute was here?

Gale: Lucky Guess?

Nero: Riiiiiight.

Alf: Now we have to wake up Unne with this!

Black Mage: Hit it, Author!

(Sigh) Outside the Temple of Time...

Black Mage: Now where do we go?

Alf and Gale: To W-

Black Mage: I know that but where is it?

Alf and Gale: Ah.

At Salonia...

Viking: Whatcha' been up to?

Black Mage: Got this Fl- I mean Lute Thingy and we have to wake up this Old Lady with it.

Black Mage: Got a Map?

Geomancer: Just cast Sight or use Midget Bread!

Alf: Gale?

Gale: Fire, Bolt, and Cure, Sorry.

Nero: Inventory!

Black Mage: Just one...

Gale: Hooray for convenience!

Nero: Wait, Dudes...

Everyone Else: Huh?

Nero: We know where we gotta go, but We don't know anything about where the Place might be!

Black Mage: Right when I thought we did it without the Author's Help...

Author Saves the day again, It's just west of Salonia. First Cave to the North. South for Fargabaad, the Town of Dark Knights. BUT! You must have a pretty Awesome Airship to get there.

Nero: Well, Let's GO!

They...

Black Mage: No...

Go'd.

Black Mage: I Said NO!

Gale: So this is Unne's Cave...

Alf: It's Roomy in here!

Nero: Who has the Lute Thingy?

Black Mage: When will we stop calling it Lute Thingy?

Gale: When we use it and It becomes Useless and Clutters your Inventory along with your other Never to be used again useless Key Items.

Black Mage: Ah.

Parrot: (These are the Light Warriors?...) Uh... CAW!

Black Mage: Caw?

Gale: Parrots don't Caw!

Parrot: Um... Chirp?

Gale: Or Chirp Either!

Parrot: PARROT NOISE!

Black Mage and Gale: Now that's just Ridiculous.

Alf: I think He's trying to signal us to wake up Unne.

Gale: Oh, That's Right!

Gale Starts Playing the Lute.

...

Alf: You know, You fit the Lute.

Gale: I think I'm more of a Flute Kinda' Guy.

Black Mage: It HAD to be a Flute?

Gale: It's just a coincidence, calm down.

Unne: You gonna stop yappin' any time soon?

Alf: Unne!

Black Mage: And then this is the part where she tells the Story about what happened and how she Fell asleep for 2000 Years... Author can you skip it?

...

Black Mage: Oh, I see how it is.

Unne: Blah Blah Stuff about Zande Blah Blah Go Kill him Blah Blah Take me to Dorga Blah Blah Once you get this Pretty Awesome Airship!

Black Mage Okay, NOW I see.

Alf: But where IS this Airship?

Unne: It's in the Ancient Ruins, And when I say that, I mean the Bottom. BF5 or 6 or Something.

Gale: We're Off!

They actually found The Ancient Ruins Pretty Quickly, I mean look at the Map.

Gale: Why are there Scholars here?

Black Mage: Think about it. ANCIENT RUINS. and SCHOLARS. Get the Picture?

Gale It makes sense...

Nero: Woah, we got a Roadblock Dudes!

Black Mage: What is it?

Alf: 4 Rocks made of Adamantite!

Black Mage and Gale: FOUR?

Unne: Oh, Adamantite? No problem for someone of My Awesome Skills.

Gale: What are you-

Unne: I'll Take care of this!

SMASH! BOOM! CRACK! WHACK!

Black Mage: Did you...

Gale: Just break...

Black Mage and Gale: FOUR ROCKS OF ADAMANTITE?

Unne: That a problem?

Black Mage: A problem, she says.

Gale: Quite a gigantic one, Yes.

Unne: Just get to the Point, Wizard Boy!

Black Mage: Do you know of the 2nd best Sword in this Game, Excalibur?

Unne: Yes...

Gale: Know what it's made out of?

Unne: ...

Black Mage and Gale: ADAMANTITE!

Unne: Well, Sorry Boys. What's Done is Done. Now let's get moving!

Black Mage: If we die, I blame her.

Gale: Same.

Scholar: Wait, There are-!

The Battle Music Starts.

Scholars: Vulcan Dragons down there...

Nero: Got a plan, Lady?

Unne: HOLY!

Black Mage: Yes, we know we're all gonna Die all becaus- Oh, you meant the Spell Holy.

9999 Damage. Defeated.

Black Mage and Gale: What.

Unne: Mess with me, you get a Face Fulla' Holy!

Alf: Do you have any other Spells?

Unne: I got Haste.

Alf: Which one?

Unne: Which one? The only one!

Nero: The White one! (Points at Black Mage) Gotcha' Now, Dude!

Unne: Oh, That's What you meant. I have the White one. Elfland is too far away for my tastes. But it is Much cheaper. I find it not worth it.

Nero: Aww...

Scholar: Hello There, Travelers!

Gale: (Looks behind him quickly) Huh? Weren't you-?

Scholar: We're Different Scholars. We're Shop Guys.

Gale: Oh, Cool!

Nero: Weapons!

BAM!

Scholar: What do you need on this Fine Day?

Black Mage: How do you know what time it is?

Scholar: This is Final Fantasy. Where it's always day and always turns conveniently Nighttime whenever you sleep, (Which is only 5 seconds at that...) BUT ANYWAY!

Alf: What are these Two Swords Called?

Scholar: Oh, Those? First, The Ancient Sword. It sucks. A LOT. BUT! It Paralyzes and causes Curse!

Alf: Hmm...

Scholar: And now the Blood Sword. It's a bit Weaker than normal Swords but it Absorbs HP!

Alf: Huh.

Scholar: And the Last Sword... The Defender! Guess what it does.

Gale: Raise Defense?

Scholar: Wrong! It Raises Vitality!

Black Mage and Gale: What.

Gale: What's next, Shields that Raise Attack?

Scholars: Oh, they have those. But not in this Game.

Gale: ...

Alf: Armor!

The Scholar just puts on a Fake Mustache and runs over to the other side of the Counter.

Scholar: Need anything today?

Black Mage and Gale: Really?

Scholar: We only have Diamond Armor Set and Useless Robes.

Alf: Ooh!

Gale: When do I get Equipment?

Black Mage: Oh, I forgot, you never got equipment ever since you changed to a Dark Knight!

Gale: Yeah... But maybe I can get something at that Dark Knight Town...

Alf: Two Defenders and Diamond Armor! All Set to go!

Nero: Chakra Helmet, and Black Belt, Ready!

Black Mage: When did you get those?

Nero: A while ago. Notice how I wasn't the one who said, "Armor!"?

Black Mage: Oh that makes sense.

Alf, Nero, and Unne: CHARGE!


	22. The Search for the Elemental Fangs!

Author's Note: Well my computer deleted itself entirely... For more details read my Bio. Also, That'll tell you why there might be SO MANY typos in here. But I'm gonna' Proofread this chapter anyway so, meh.

Everyone: CHARGE!

Gale: Where do we go now? There's another path whichever way you look!

Unne: Oh It's that one, up there.

Black Mage: How do you know?

Gale: And where did Nero go?

Alf: Oh, he started barging into about every room in here a while ago.

Nero: Dudes! I just found a Cat Claw and an Elf Claw!

Black Mage and Gale: Elf Claw?

Gale: Who knew Elves could be so vicious!

Alf: Did you find Anything else?

Nero: Pretty much everthing we bought a while ago.

Black Mage: Because That's Final Fantasy for you...

Unne: Onward!

They eventually make it to the pretty awesome Airship.

Alf: Where is this?

Unne: You're on this Pretty Awesome Airship! Let me show you around.

Unne starts running around the place.

Unne: This is a Bed.

Black Mage: Thank you for your incredible knowledge.

Unne: So with this, you can heal after Every single fight! Free Inn on the go!

Alf and Nero: Awesome! (Dude!)

Unne: This is a Fat Chocobo.

Gale: What does it do?

Unne: He'll keep your Items for you.

Black Mage and Gale: YES!

Black Mage and Gale randomly start Piling up random Key Items.

Unne: And these are Vending Machines!

Black Mage: Great. The Dwarves invented those, too?

Unne: No, Silly! Not those Vending Machines! These ones carry Weapons, Armor, Magic, And Items!

Alf: Cool!

Unne: Why they're just Tables with signs over them, I don't know.

Nero: That all there is, Lady?

Unne: Yep, That's All. Now to Dorga's House!

Alf: What are you going to do?

Unne: Jump off and Walk there.

Gale: Aren't we in the middle of the ocean?

Nero: And aren't the winds going like 189 MPH Or something over there?

Unne: I'll figure something out.

Alf: Why can't you just stay here and Ride with us?

Unne: Because! This is more Fun!

Black Mage: Huh?

Unne: See ya!

Alf: She's weird.

Black Mage: Yup.

Gale: Wait...

Nero: What's up, Dude?

Gale: We have this pretty awesome Airship, Right?

Black Mage: Yeah...

Gale: Let's go to that Dark Knight Town! I can hopefully get Weapons and Armor!

Alf: Let's Go!

At Fargabaad...

Gale: Woah... They're Everywhere!

Black Mage: Author, What do we do?

What, Scared of the Dark Knights? Or the Dark Cave?

Alf: Where's Gale?

Gale: ...Then What's the Point of building a Weapon and Armor Shop in the First Place?

Alf: Ah.

Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Fist: Dude, what if one of us became a Dark Knight?

Feather: I think they Look Scary!

Kin: Their HP Draining Attacks seem not Worth it to me.

Kuro: Sure they have Awesome strength... But they can only use 4 Weapons in the Whole Entire Game!

Fist: It was just a thought. It'd be weird if we changed class!

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

Nero: What was with the outburst just now, Dude?

Gale: The Shop Guys said they Don't sell anything and don't plan to either.

Black Mage: Then What's the P-

Gale: Exactly.

Black Mage: Author, What do we do?

Again? Ugh. Either you can go to the Cave north of Town for an Ashura, and A Kotetsu. Also Demon Armor. Or you can go behind the Waterfall and Kill some ridiculously Powerful Monster for a Kiku. Which is Stronger than even the Kotetsu. And the Kotetsu is Stronger than the Ashura.

Black Mage: Much Better.

Because I'm lazy they went to the Cave and got the 2 Swords and Armor. Then They went behind the waterfall...

Old Man: Do you want a Kiku?

Gale: YES.

Old Man: Then Kill this Ridiculosly Po- Oh. Well... Here you Go!

Alf Gale and Nero: Woah! (Dude!)

Black Mage: Naturally.

They leave Town and Get back on the Airship.

Gale: Oh Yeah! I finally got Equipment! I can do over 2000 Damage Now!

Alf: WHAT? I only do 1000! Dark Knights MUST have a downside! What's your Defense?

Gale: 26.

Alf: Ha! 38!

Gale: Wait Till' I get the Genji Armor!

Alf: By then I'll Have Crystal Armor!

Gale: Black Mage, What's your Defense?

Black Mage: Does it Matter?

Everyone, Even the Chocobos Stare.

Black Mage: ...15.

Everyone: ...

Black Mage: What?

Everyone started bursting out laughing.

Nero: Dude! Even Mine's 24!

Gale: Now for Attack! Go!

Alf: 218!

Nero: 236!

Gale: 259!

Black Mage: ...26.

Everyone: TWENTY SIX?

Black Mage: Now Let's do Intelligence.

Gale: 18...

Alf: 9...

Nero: 3...

Black Mage: 58.

Mini Author's Note: Let this be a lesson to you. No class is the Best Class. And... Oh, Who Am I kidding? Ninja and Sage ROCK! And NEVER Use Scholars or Bards!

Alf: Anyway... What do we do now?

Black Mage: Author?

No.

Black Mage: Ugh, Okay. Let's go over the Facts. We got the Pretty awesome Airship, We went to Fargabaad. Unne Won't stop bugging us about going to Dorga's House...

Gale: That's It!

Alf: We have to go to Dorga's House!

...After some Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Kin: How would our stats work? Arent we like 2 classes at once?

Kuro: Maybe it goes like FF5?

Feather: What?

Kuro: Nevermind...

Chocobo Talk over. Aww.

The Light Warriors Step into Dorga's House...

Totally Not Dorga: (Ahem) Um... Is this thing on? Yes? Okay. Welcome Light Warriors! If you wish to see Dorga and Unne Go to the basement Which I will reveal right now!

Totally not Unne: You can only get past the Door if you get the Elemental Fangs!

Black Mage: Aww... Where are those?

Totally not Unne: You should have them already.

Alf and Gale: Oh no...

Totally not Unne: ...You didn't get them, did you?

Totally not Dorga: Aww it took forever to set this up! Now we have to wait. **Again.**

And so, The Light Warriors searched the World for the Elemental Fangs. Nah, Not really. They couldn't fully explore Altar Cave even if they tried.


	23. The REAL Search for the Elemental Fangs!

Gale: Then where are these Elemental Fangs?

Totally not Unne: We can't just **tell** you.

Black Mage: Do you **Want** this story to be 50 Chapters Long? I didn't think so.

Totally not Dorga: Fine. Remember Nepto? He gives you the Water Fang.

Totally not Unne: And Remember the Giant Tree in Hyne's Castle? He gives you the Wind Fang.

Alf: But the Tree locked Himself in the Forest forever! How do we get it?

Totally not Unne: You can find out Something.

Totally not Dorga: Unne Was supposed to give you the Fire Fang.

Totally not Unne: I was?

Totally not Dorga: Ssh! You'll Blow our Cover!

Totally not Unne: (Ahem) And the Earth Fang is in the Dephts of the Darkness Cave where the Genji Armor Is!

Gale: I can always go for new Armor!

Totally not Unne: Now go! Get those Fangs!

Outside Dorga's House and in the Airship...

Black Mage: So... Where do we go?

Nero: The Easiest one! The Water Fang, Dude!

At Nepto's Shrine...

Gale: Wait... Wasn't Nepto In eternal Slumber?

Alf: I think he would at least leave the Fang for us.

Black Mage: Hm?

Nero: What's That?

Black Mage: A Fang woth a Note Attached...

Alf: Read it!

Black Mage: "Light Warriors, You forgot this. I thought you would need it, It looked like a Key Item. Anyway, Now you must be thinking, "Nepto doesn't have arms, how can he write?" Or, "How the heck did Nepto get a Pen?" The Answer... I won't tell you."

Gale: Well, That was awkward...

Alf: Let's do the Wind Fang Next!

The Light Warriors Head on their Airship and go to the Living Forest.

Nero: How are we going to Get in, Dude?

Black Mage: Hmm... WARP!

Gale: That Worked?

Black Mage: Hmm... Where's that... Ah HA!

Alf: We're Finding these pretty fast aren't we?

Gale: It's Probably because we did all the Dungeons already. And we have a Pretty awesome Airship.

Nero: Onwards, Dudes! To the Earth Fang!

Alf: What About the Fire Fang?

Nero: Chill, Dude. The Lady'll give us the Fire Fang when we come back with the other 3!

Alf: Okay then Let's Go!

Gale: I wan't my Genji Armor!

Black Mage: Wait...

Gale: What?

Black Mage: Remember what those Old guys in Amur Said?

Old Guy: But, Since we're no0bZ, We're gonna throw it in a cave for you to Risk your lives finding!

Gale: Oh, Yeah...

Nero: And Remember what I said in the Tozas Healing Spring, Dudes? We can't die, We're the Light Warriors!

Alf: But what if we **did** die?

Black Mage: Then the Screen would go black and say, "Annihilated..." and, Ding! We come back to Life right outside this Cave!

Alf: Sweet! Nothing to Lose!

Gale: Other than our Sanity if the cave is that hard.

Black Mage: Ugh, Giant Mountain Maze.

Nero: Fly over it, Dude! Mountains do not stand in the way of the Pretty Awesome Airship!

In the of the Cave of Darkness...

Dark Knight: You guys look Strong Enough...

Gale: Huh?

Dark Knight: I'm not worthy of this Cave... They're... Too strong... Take this... Kiku. You can more use of it than me.

Gale: Oh Yeah! 300 Attack!

Dark Knight: Also... Watch out for Enemies that split into two whenever you Attack them.

Alf: That Sucks! How do we get past them if they keep multiplying?

Dark Knight: You use Dark Swords... Or Magic.

Black Mage: Of Course.

Alf and Nero: Aww what do we do?

Black Mage: Simple, All of us except for Alf has to get to Low HP.

Alf: Then?

Black Mage: We give 2 you Aegis Shields and keep defending. Your Knighty Powers will force you to take Damage For us. And Since your Defense should be around 200, You'll Take Little to no damage.

Alf: Oh, Okay! You were freaking me out for a sec...

Black Mage: And Gale will do All the Work.

Gale: What about you? You can damage them too!

Black Mage: It won't be enough. The most I could do is Confuse them.

Nero: Won't that make 'em split, Dude?

Black Mage: Actually, No. If they attack eachother, they won't multiply.

Gale: How do you know so much about this?

Black Mage: Okay, about that first plan with the Shields... You just Kinda' Figure. As for the Confuse Splitting... I have absolutely no idea about that. I just said stuff hoping I was Right.

Alf: Totally!

Nero: Dude, Those were your longest lines yet!

Gale: That's beside the point! No more Stalling!

Alf: Dorga and Unne can't wait much longer!

Totally not Dorga and Unne: Dang Right!

Black Mage and Gale: Uhh... You do know the people talking over at Dorga's WERE Dorga and Unne, Right?

Alf: Really? Oh, now that you mention it...

Nero: Dude! That was so obvious!

Alf: ...Anyway. Are we going in or not?

Black Mage: Meh, What the Heck. We've been standing here for 470 Words anyway.

Dark Knight: I bet you Forgot about Me!

Black Mage: Weren't you supposed to be Dead?

Dark Knight: Well, not **yet**, anyway.

Chocobo Talk! Yay!

Kuro: I bet you forgot about us, Too!

Fist: We have to get our screen time **sometime** Dudes!

Kuro: Just wait 'till we get our own story...

Kin: We have one you know.

Kuro: Yeah... But it's been so long it's like it doesn't even exist!

Kin: We'll just have to wait untill the Author Works on it again.

Feather: I miss my Pop up Cards!

Chocobo Talk Over. Aww.

Gale: Can we go in **NOW**?

Black Mage: The Chapter's 1,132 Words Long.

Gale: So?

Black Mage: We cant go, unless the Author is willing to do a 2,000 Word Chapter, Like Chapter 6.

Which I'm not Willing to, So The Chapter Ends here.

Alf: Aww, Don't be that way!


	24. Earth Crystal, Rescued!

Author's Note: Guess what? I'm just gonna be lazy and time skip through the Cave of Darkness. That place takes me like, 3 Hours, Anyway.

Gale: What's That?

Alf: A Fang!

Nero: Yeah! Victory, Dudes!

Voice: Oh, Nothing's that easy, you know.

Black Mage: So true.

Alf: We will defeat you For the Fang!... Uh... What's your name?

Hekaton: I am Hekaton. Ugh, Introduction.

Black Mage: WOAH!

Everyone Else: What?

Black Mage: I think the Author is gonna try his hand at another Battle!

Gale: Sweet! That makes things more Intersesting!

Alf: Go!

Nero: Karatekas First, Dudes! I have the most Agility anyway.

Nero Makes the First Attack, doing incredible Damage, Naturally. Next was Gale with his awesome Dark Sword's Power, Hekaton Countered, Using Bolt 3 on Nero.

Alf: Why couldn't I guard that?

Black Mage: Because that's magic, You can only guard Physical attacks.

Gale: What if his Magic keeps up?

Black Mage: ...We're dead.

Alf: Might as well equip my Swords again.

Alf attacks, but since Hekaton Has a High Defense, it did minimal Damage.

Alf: How come Gale did more damage?

Black Mage: Because that's what Dark Swords do.

Gale: Give me a boost, then!

Black Mage used Haste on Gale. Alf, resisting the urge to attack, used a Phoenix Down on Nero.

Nero: Back In Action, Dudes!

Black Mage: Don't party just yet, There's still that chance where the boss is a total jerk and keeps attacking the person you just revived.

Gale **really** wanted to attack, because of his haste, But he was the only one who knows Healing Spells of any kind, so He used Cure 2 on Nero. This wasn't enough, So Alf used a Hi-Potion on Nero. Black Mage used Haste on Nero, Because he did at one point do as much damage as Gale.

Nero: Full Power, Dude!

Gale: Yeah!

Nero and Gale did a totally awesome Team Attack, but because you are reading just words, I'm afraid you couldn't see it.

Black Mage: (Sigh) What a Pushover...

Alf: He did Kill Nero once.

Black Mage: But he didn't get any more turns after that, noticed?

Gale: Wait, Wouldn't that mean we got more that 1 turn?

Black Mage: I think we got 3.

Nero: Because we're **that** awesome, Dude!

Black Mage: Should we be going to Dorga and Unne now?

Alf: Exit!

Gale: On it!

Outside the Cave of Darkness and inside Dorga's House...

Totally not Dorga: Good You finally got all the Fangs!

Totally not Unne: Now you can challenge the epic hardness that is of our awesome dungeon!

Totally not Dorga: You did get the Earth Crystal, Right?

Black Mage: Unne won't give the Fire Fang to us, so we came here to pick it up.

Alf and Gale: (That's why we came here?)

Totally not Unne: Oh, Here you go, A moogle will be delivering it Shortly.

Moogle: Kupo!

Gale: That was fast.

Totally not Unne: Hoho, I did say fast, didn't I?

Totally not Dorga: Now go get your little Crystal, Don't worry, We'll still be here!

On the Airship...

Alf: So, where do you think the Earth Crystal is?

Nero: Let's look at the map, Dude!

Gale: SIGHT!

Alf: Let's try here!

Gale: Why there?

Alf: Because there's 4 statues guarding that Epic looking Entrance.

Black Mage: Good enough for me.

At the Statues of the Quest...

Wind Statue: Halt! You must have the Wind Fang to pass!

Black Mage: And if we don't?

Wind Statue: I'll cast Death on your whole party, killing you instantly.

Gale: What the heck? We don't even get A fighting Chance?

Wind Statue: That **IS**, If you have the Wind Fang.

Gale: Here it is.

Wind Statue: Okay... Let me see that for a s-

BOOM!

Gale and Black Mage: He... Blew up?

Alf and Nero are laughing uncontrolably.

Alf: Haha! He.. Just... BLEW UP! Haahaha!

Nero: We gotta see that again, Dude!

Water Statue: You can Pass only if you ha-

BOOM!

Fire Statue: You can Pa-

BOOM!

Earth Statue: Y-

BOOM!

Gale: It's funny how you just cut them off like that that.

Black Mage: Haha... Yeah.

Nero: Look there's a huge Building over there, Dudes!

Alf: Nothing to do but go in there!

In the Ancient's Labyrinth...

Earth Crystal: Oh, There you are, Light Warriors! Titan here keeps bugging me for my power!

Titan: Gimme' your power.

Earth Crystal: NO! Anyway, Please, get him off my back for me!

Alf and Nero: Charge!

Nero, with his agility, made the first attack, doing some decent damage. Gale, coming next, attacked with his Sharp Dark Swords. Titan stomped the ground very hard, causing a giant earthquake that made the room nearly fall apart! The Light Warriors stood no chance against the Mighty Titan. Gale has already used his attack, so the Light Warriors didn't know their next move. Alf, Attacking as usual, because that's what Knights do. Black Mage casted Haste on Nero. Normally, he would've used it on Gale, but he knew Gale had to do some Healing next round. Nero attacked again, but this time, with his Hasted powers. Titan made the Earthquake happen again, so now the Light Warriors are in Grave Danger... But just then, Gale started Casting a magic spell, one he knew was way out of his league. But tried anyway...

Gale: Please... Work...! This is our only chance!... CURE 4!

Silence Filled the room...

...

Huge Holy lights came into the room and surrounded the Light Warriors, and came out as Good as new!

Gale: Whew, that was a big one... I don't think I can do that again...

Alf: You have to, if we're going to live! Drink an Ether!

Black Mage Casted Haste on Gale for his upcoming attack, Nero did his usual attacking duty. Then Gale's Hasted attack came. Titan made another- You guessed it, Earthquake. Alf and Black Mage tried to end things before another Cure was needed. They did an Epic Team attack because Gale and Nero did it last time, And it did just enough damage to defeat him!

Gale: Phew... I didn't think we were gonna' make it out of that one...

Alf: If it wasn't for your Cure 4, We wouldn't have!

Gale: So that means I have a spell i'm not supposed to, also!

Black Mage: Doesn't it feel awesome? Because you feel different from everyone else... In the Good way.

Alf: There's a bad way?

Nero: Nevermind that, Dudes! We gotta' get the Earth Crystal!

Earth Crystal: Whew, That'll do good on me for awhile... Anyway, you know the drill, Save crystals, get Jobs! Here you go!

Black Mage: Oh, I've been waiting so **long** for this!

Black Mage Changed into a Warlock.

Earth Crystal: You there... Dark Knight.

Gale: Me?

Earth Crystal: You were a Red Mage before, correct?

Gale: Yes.

Earth Crystal: After you learned Cure 4, I think you deserve to learn the sacred ways of the Red Wizard.

Gale: Wow! I didn't think I'd ever get to be one of those! A Red Wizard...

Gale Changed into a Red Wizard.

Earth Crystal: Alf, Gale, Nero, Ark...

Alf Gale and Nero: Huh?

Black Mage: Don't act so suprised... That's my real name.

Nero: I knew It'd come around eventually, Dude!

Gale: But why would you want to hide something like that?

Black Mage: Let's just hear what the Crystal has to say before this gets any more awkward...

Earth Crystal: (Ahem) Now that you've rescued the 4 Crystals, You now have to climb the Sylx Tower. But Dorga and Unne Should give you the key there. Come back with the Key, Light Warriors! Save our World...

Alf: What are you gonna' do?

Earth Crystal: Fix this room...

Gale: Good luck with that! EXIT!

Inside the Airship...

Nero: I knew you had a name this whole time, Dude! I hadn't given up hope since the beggining!

Gale: But it would be weird suddenly calling you by a new name...

Alf: Can we still just call him Black Mage?

Black Mage: Meh, My nametag stayed that way anyway. So I guess the Author agrees too.

Alf Gale and Nero: Hooray!

A few minutes later...

Black Mage: Maybe We should prepare some items...

Gale: What makes you say that?

Black Mage: What are the chances that the epic hardness dungeon actually **is** epic hardness?

Gale: Meh good point.

Alf: Let's go to Salonia!

Black Mage: Alright, Let's go.

At Salonia...

Gale: I'll go get the Items, It'll only be a sec!

Gale runs off.

Viking: Heeey! It's been awhile hasn't it?

Alf: We just found out Black Mage's Name!

Viking: Didja? Might as well introduce ourselves, next! My name's Durant!

Geomancer: I'm Ryder!

Alf: Fitting names!

Black Mage: Well, that's the whole family. Satisfied? Any more questions?

Alf and Nero: Not right now, No...

Viking: To think that you guys're gonna' save the world...

Geomancer: Be sure to protect Mr. Magey! He always had low defense!

Black Mage: Not as low as yours!

Gale: Okay! I'm Back! I got the items!

Viking: Well, be sure to pay us a visit when you're done saving the world!

Geomancer: Bye Bye!

The Light Warriors went to their Airship and flew to Dorga's House.

Totally not Dorga: Okay! Is **EVERYTHING** out of the way now?

Black Mage: Should be.

Totally not Dorga: Okay! Now enter this cave, and try to conquer it! Or your DOOM Will happen!

Totally not Dorga and Unne: Mwahahahaha!

The Light Warriors Slowly step in Dorga's Cave... And the Closes behind them. And now, they must face the Dangers of Dorga's Cave with no Healing. **AT ALL**. I mean, How evil is that?


	25. Dorga's Cave of Epic Hardness!

Author's Note: Whew, has it been awhile… I have just been **ALL** over the place with other things… Including School, and Typing other Fics… Yeah. So, here I am again, hopefully going back to updating often. Aaaaand…. The fact that I have to get used to typing in Script style again might make this take longer. Anyway, that's it from me, now here's Chapter 25!

Black Mage: I swear, if you make us talk in those quotation marks…

No, don't worry I wouldn't do that. …Although I probably would accidentally type them then erase them… Eh, Don't worry about it. Now, go follow the Storyline like good little Light Warriors. (Ahem!) The Light Warriors step inside Dorga's Cave of Epic Hardness…

Totally not Unne: Hey! What about me?

Unne's too, I guess. Now let's see how the Light Warriors' travels unfold! …They'll probably just use warp or I'll time skip it, but whatever…

Black Mage: Why do say that like it's a bad thing…?

Gale: It kind of is, you know. How we skip dungeons like that. Sure, if we actually did the whole thing, there'd be a lot more stalling and boring-ness! And this story already has enough of that!

Black Mage: So what are you saying? Do you want to do the whole dungeon?

Gale: Well…

Alf: Where did our Chocobos go, anyway?

Gale: You were always one to change the subject…

Black Mage: I don't know, they could've went to star in their own story, for all I know.

Nero: Enough of the stalling already, Dude! When are we going to tackle this cave?

Gale: You see what I mean about the stalling, though?

Black Mage: Now that you say that…

The Light Warriors go a bit further into the cave, where it is covered in pitch black darkness. But knowing Black Mage, he already thought of something.

Black Mage: Way ahead of ya'. (Casts Fire and keeps the flame in a ball in front of him)

Alf: Quite a bit of treasure here, don'tcha think?

Gale: Yes, actually.

Alf: …It kind of reminds me back when Gale loved Treasures…

Nero: What ever happened to that, Dude?

Gale: I don't know… It just sort of… Happened.

Black Mage: That's not a good enough Answer! But we'll let you off the hook. For now…

The Light Warriors quickly snag all the Treasure chests, and make their way further down the cave.

Alf: This isn't so bad!

Gale: What?

Alf: Actually doing the dungeon.

Black Mage: That's because there's no monsters.

Nero: Dang it, Dude! You totally doomed us all by saying that!

Black Mage: Yeah… Sorry, my fault.

ENEMY ENCOUNTER!

Black Mage: Yup. That's this game (And/or Story) For you…

The Enemy… I don't know what it is! Use your imagination! Anyway, The enemy cheap shot Black Mage by casting mute on him while they were all talking.

Nero: No worries! I got this, Dudes!

The enemy is defeated.

Alf: Victory!

Gale: 1000 Gil!

Nero: 860 EXP!

Black Mage: 3 Capacity!… What? Can't forget about Capacity!

Alf: Job Leveled!

Black Mage: And that's why enemy encounters are commonly not found in this story.

I was supposed to say that… but anyway, The Light Warriors found themselves in a room with many long hallways. I don't know, ask Dorga.

Black Mage: What's up with all the pointlessly long Hallways? That pretty much all lead to dead ends?

Totally not Dorga: I don't know, maybe I like pointlessly long hallways that all lead to dead ends! Got a problem with that?

Gale: There's no enemy encounters, so why does that even matter? The point to Pointlessly long hallways is to drain your sanity and patience very quickly by throwing tons and tons of forced enemy encounter squares in your face. And then treasures at the end that make it completely not worth it.

Totally not Dorga: Uh huh. Uh huh… Sorry, could you say that last part again?

Gale: Did you just write down what I said?

Totally not Unne: Good thinking, Not Dorga!

Totally not Dorga and Unne: Old People rule!

The Light Warriors Instantly find the Door to Dor- I mean to the Mysterious room where the voices are coming from… Thus slapping their long hallway Idea across the face.

Black Mage: Finally, something happens in our favor!

There were to monsters standing behind a collapsed Dorga and Unne.

Alf: What? I could have sworn those voices were…

Black Mage: They are, They're probably just playing some stupid trick.

Dorga: Fine, ruin the fun, why don't you? (Dorga and Unne get up)

Unne: And I thought Desh was the Fun ruiner…

Everyone else: Who?

Somehow, Somewhere, Desh is sad.

Dorga: Anyway! This is the Part where we have an Epic duel that lasts a whole 3 chapters!

Black Mage: You know that's not gonna' happen. The longest battle we've ever had lasted only 250 words or something.

Sorry. Battle length was always something I was never good at.

Unne: Well, Great. Let's have that 250 word fight then.

Black Mage: Cool, because this Chapter was 750 words long so far anyway!

Nero: I bet you Forgot about me, Dudes!

Alf: I did, actually… Sorry about that.

Gale: Where'd you go?

Nero: Somewhere that has this awesome thing called NEW CLAWS, DUDE! (Shows off his new Dragon Claws)

Dorga: FOOL! Those will not stop me!

Nero: Really?

Dorga: I don't know, I just always wanted to say that.

Unne: Come on! What about the Battle?

Black Mage: (Attempting to sound smart) If a battle should commence, The Chapter will be longer than it needs to be. So this is when we stall until we hit 1000 words.

Dorga: That sounds fun, actually!

BUT! We're not going to be getting into that. Let's check on the Dark Warriors!

Water Crystal: I am LOVING how that sounds! (Ahem) Anyway! It has recently come to my attention that there are ACTUALL DARK WARRIORS!

Druid: Wouldn't that be us?

Guzco: No, that means that there's some other group called the Dark Warriors.

Goldor: Imposters!

Water Crystal: That's what we think, but actually, WE are the imposters!

Goldor: How do we fix that?

Water Crystal: We must DEFEAT THEM IN BATTLE!

Druid: No need to shout.

Guzco: What are you saying? All of his sentences for the past 4 hours have included shouting.

Water Crystal: Well, Maybe I LIKE Shouting! It really gets my point across!

Druid: If we're going to defeat them, We need a fourth member…

Water Crystal: What's THAT supposed to mean?

Druid: I mean one who **can** fight.

Water Crystal: Oh, I see. CARRY ON!

Druid: So we need to get another villain to join us.

Goldor: Let us search the World!

Guzco: This'll be fun.

The Dark Warriors search the world for one willing to join them.

Water Crystal: Dangit! They killed EVERYBODY! Who's left?

Druid: We can check on Hyne.

Guzco: You sure they didn't kill him?

Goldor: We can still at least try.

Guzco: I guess so…

They go to Hyne's Floating castle.

Hyne: Huh? what do you want?

Water Crystal: So you ARE alive!

Hyne: Of course I am!… Well, I AM Dead, but I can't die, so that makes me… Alive? I think? I don't know. What was it you were saying?

Goldor: We need assistance in defeating the Real Dark Warriors, And you seem to be the only Evil doer that still lives.

Hyne: Meh, What the heck. I cant capture anything with this blown up castle, anyway.

Water Crystal: YAY! …No one saw or heard anything.

Guzco: So there's 5 of us now?

Goldor: We have more Warriors than most!

Hyne: Wait, If I'm the 5th member, Doesn't that mean I'm the useless one that does nothing but bug you about the storyline?

Guzco: Heh, Well, maybe you are!

Hyne: That's Not Funny!

The Dark Warriors Now have A 5th member, And The Light Warriors are against Dorga and Unne! It sucks because you have to wait like, a whole month for the next Chapter because, THAT is how much time I don't have on my hands.


	26. The Epic Showdown of Doom!

Author's Note: Woah, has it been two years already? That's right, this Chapter was posted October 10, 2012. Which means today is This Fanfic's **Second Anniversary**! Now, Normally I would've typed another chapter of Telefang, but I randomly decided to look at my DSi's calendar. And it said it was October 10th today. I remembered the fic said it got released on the same day two years ago. I always memorized that date because in numbers, it's 10/10/10. So anyway, I thought, "I don't want to make it seem like I forgot..." So I changed plans and decided to write A chapter for this because of it's Second Anniversary. Anyway, Blah blah you get it. Onward with story time!

Black Mage: That was like, the longest Author's note you ever wrote.

I think I wrote Longer, actually.

Gale: Stalling!

Unne: Do we get to fight now? Because Dorga's snoring is starting to bug me.

Dorga: Huh, Whazzat? Oh, YOU SHALL PERISH LIGHT WARRIORS!

Black Mage: Oh, well I guess he started it for us then.

Nero: Claws to the face!

Nero attacked Dorga. With his Karateka-ness, It did a lot more damage than it should have.

Gale: Yay Haste!

Black Mage: Yay overpowered Bio!

Alf soon follows with his attack, because swords get a random insane power drop against bosses, Well... You know how that turned out. And then came Nero's supercharged attack. Dorga survived and then Nero wouldn't stop complaining how an 80 year old guy can survive a Hasted Claw attack. And then Unne continued...

Unne: Meteor!

Black Mage: What? Don't lie, you don't have that spell.

Unne: I always did, it's just you gave me enough time to cast it, because you've been hating on Dorga, over there.

Dorga: Can't breathe... Over here... (Cough)

Unne: Oh, and heads up.

The Meteors come crashing down, and all the Light Warriors barely lived.

Nero: Can't you do that too, dude?

Black Mage: Well, you see... Yeah, the Water Crystal took it from me. Just like Warp.

A quick check in with the Dark Warriors...

Water Crystal: Oh, yeah. Did I ever tell you guys I stole Black Mage's METEOR?

Hyne: Hey! That's the same Meteor that destroyed my Castle!

Guzco: That must be why this place looks like a burnt and dead castle.

Hyne: It's not like I decided to blow up the place.

Water Crystal: Can anybody even CAST this? Hyne?

Hyne: I'd love to. Except I can't. I'm an undead Red wizard, so that tells me no.

Druid: I bet all of you forgot I was a spellcaster. (Takes the Meteor Book and tries it)

Goldor: What power!

Hyne: Oh, you just HAD to blow up my castle again, didn't you?

Water Crystal: Ah this spell will be very useful, indeed. It's so evil I can't help but EVIL LAUGH! MUAHAHAHA!

That took longer than I thought it would... Anyway back to the Light Warriors' epic showdown of doom.

Dorga: Good name... Actually... (Cough)

Nero: I forgot about the Dying old man, actually.

Black Mage: With one on four, things don't look very good for you lady.

Gale: I always thought that was kind of cheap of us...

Alf: What?

Gale: How we four on one every boss.

Unne: Meteor! Ah, I love how you guys keep stalling so I can do that!

Gale: And here's when our stalling is going to be the end of us...

The Meteors wiped them all out.

Unne: Dorga! Get up, we actually won!

Dorga: Ah... Just wait a second... (Casts Cure 4)

Unne: Yeah! Go Old people!

Dorga: That's why you should never multi-target Cure 4... **EVER**. Shame they had to learn that the hard way.

Unne: Why do I feel like we didn't actually win?

Dorga: Oh yeah, I forgot. They can cheat death and just cheat period, because they keep coming back until they win if they die.

Unne: Now **THAT'S **Cheap.

At the Light Warriors' last save... In front of the Cave of Darkness...

Black Mage: UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! Why did we not save it? You ALWAYS save your game before a boss or the newest dungeon!

Nero: Does this mean we have to do everything over again from here?

Alf: Oh! This was when we went into this cave and got the Earth Fang! And when Black Mage was still a Black Mage, and when Gale was a Dark Knight!

Black Mage and Gale: Noooooo! (Turns into their previous classes)

Nero: At least I'm safe, Dudes...

Black Mage: Warp skip?

Gale: But we'll be under-leveled!

Black Mage: Don't worry, we never die... Oh.

Gale: Yeah.

And this is when the player Rage quits the game for a few months. Because you have to do like 4 dungeons over again, You have to do ALL of that level grinding again, and it goes on. Since this is a Fanfic, they can do all of that in just a few seconds!

Black Mage: That sure wasn't a few seconds on our part...

Gale: Well, that's what a Time skip is. You actually have to still do it, you know. It doesn't skip for yourself too. We just do it to decrease the amount of stalling and boring-ness.

Nero: That's what this cave is like, Dudes...

Alf: Dorga sure built a confusing place.

Black Mage: Yay Stalling and boring-ness!

They quickly go through the dungeon because they knew the way.

Dorga: We meet again, Light Warriors.

Black Mage: It's funny because we're not supposed to remember that we died.

Nero: Hey! Our Dead bodies are still here, Dudes!

Gale: I MUST TRY! (Gale casts Life on their Fallen selves)

Other Gale: Wait... If we all died, how are we... Woah.

Other Nero: Clones of us, Dude!

Alf: That's kind of weird to see, actually.

Black Mage: Oh, you're in for it now.

They used the Same strategy as before. Except Double. Both Black Mages use Bio on Unne, Both Gales Haste Both Neros. And Both Alfs attack to do what little combined damage they can.

Nero: This is pretty Sweet, having clones of us.

Other Nero: Overkill Handicap, Dudes!

Gale: Having two of myself really helps out with the healing.

Other Gale: It's sure better than multi-targeting.

Both Black Mages: Yay more spell spamming!

Both Alfs: Gigantic 8-way Team attack, anybody?

Black Mage: We end a lot of boss fights with team attacks, so what the heck.

All Light Warriors: YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

CHAPTER END! Yeah. Because I can.


End file.
